September 11, 2007
they tried to send me rehab
Today was Aiden's two weeks check-up. He has gain 1.5 lbs in the past two week. Everyone was amazed. I wasn't exactly surprised as he eats A LOT. He is now 8 lbs. Today is his official due date. Had he spent the past two weeks in the womb he would probably be almost 8 lbs. Now he is beginning to fit into some of the newborn clothes. Of course, I always pick the outfits with doggies on them. I will be sad when he can't fit into the premie outfits. They are so cute.
Fall has arrived in Chicago. It didn't get above 67 today. A month ago I would have loved this, as i was carrying around a small heater and was never cold. Now I am back to being cold alllllll the time. I get into bed and spend 10 minutes complaining about freezing to death. Ben is sad as he misses me liking the air conditioning. Now I am back to hating it. I forgot how cold I am not pregnant.
Posted by christina at 4:58 PM | Comments (1)
September 1, 2007
my mom & aiden
It is strange to not be pregnant anymore. It is not strange to have Aiden here, but strange that he is not in my tummy. I felt it the most last night, my first time out without the baby in 9 months. It is strange to buckle the seatbeat and not think about the baby within.
Society scared me a lot about pregnancy and childbirth. I thought that I was going get all the bad pregnancy stuff, but i didn't. I started the pregnancy so afraid of the pain of child birth during our first OB visit i said that i wanted an epidural immediately. But my pregnancy was easy and I read so much I came to accept the pain of child birth as something i could handle. I am thankful to my high school friend Tera, who had a baby a year ago. Last Christmas we were talking and she said not to be believe all the scary things you hear about pregnancy and childbirth.
So I pass that message along - don't believe all the scary things about pregnancy and childbirth. But I do have a couple of things that I feel made my experience better (for what it worth).
1. Work out. I did 5 miles on the elliptical every morning taking the 4th morning off for 30 mins of weight training (and abs before 25 weeks). It helped with a lot of the pregnancy and i think that helped me avoid a lot of the annoying pregnancy side effects.
2. Take fish oil, helps with the annoying pregnancy side effects
Posted by christina at 9:36 AM | Comments (0)
August 30, 2007
My immune system has returned and with it my allergies are in full force. No allergies were a nice bonus of pregnancy.
The weather has cooled off up here. It is as gorgeous day. My mom is up and we went out to bed bath and beyond for a hamper and target for other baby related stuff. It was nice to be out. My brain is still fuzzy and i totally missed some turns but me, my mom, the puppy, and the baby made it just fine.
Everyone is settling in nicely. Pepper is really cute about Aiden. She is protective when I am feeding. And gets rally concerned when he cries. She likes to smell him and lick his feet. Aiden so doesn't care. He is chill. He sleeps mostly. Eats and poops like a champ.
Posted by christina at 8:09 PM | Comments (0)
August 29, 2007
sweet hello
as I spent that week in prelabor I read a lot of birth stories and enjoyed them, so I'm going to share mine.
Aiden decided not to wait for my t-shirt quilt. And in true ironic fashion my water broke about 1:30 Sunday morning. I didn't want my water to break (did you know that it breaks before hard labor in only 10-17% of pregnancies). I didn't want my water to break because I was afraid of going into the hospital before active labor. They don't let you eat once you check into the hospital and so I'd been wanting to labor at home. But when your water breaks they want you there with in two hours.
So we show up to the hopital at 3 am. My contraction are regular, strong, and close together. The staff is quite good about my wishes though they obviously usally don't get someone who insists on no iv (hep lock) and the ability to drink liquids. They check with my group's on call dr and once he okayed those things i was good to go.
except that my body decided, well, let's not actually have a baby today. (hence why I was checking my e-mail during labor, sarah) I really wanted to avoid pitocin (the synthetic hormone used to induce and agument labor). I had heard that it makes the contractions way more intense. and so in order to try to avoid the epidural I really wanted to avoid the piochen. The doctor was great about it. He let me walk another couple of hours (we walked from 3 am to noon) and then I finally accepted the fact that i was going to need help. It was way more important to avoid infection (once the amnotic sac is compromised, an infection certainly develops within 12-24 hours).
so at 12:30 I got the pitocin. My nurse was great and helped me into a number of different position to help with the ever increasing pain of contractions. Through out the whole time it was really frustrating to not be able to be checked to see the progress of dialtation due to the infrection risk. At 2:30 ( i think) i could not stand it anymore and asked for something to just take the edge off of the pain. The narcotic, i was told, would take away about half of the pain for 2 hours. I decided to do it as there was no way i was going to survive the next 5 cms and pushing (they estimate that one would dilate 1 cm/hr). They gave it to me and my body, not use to any drugs, started feeling really strange and I just passed out asleep.
45 minutes later, I hear, I woke up screaming that the narcotic was not working and that i must have an epidural. They check me again - 7 cm. They got the epidrual person and while they were trying to figure out if I really could sit still for the spinal tap (I could not, though insisted that i could) i felt the need to push. the ob resident did not believe me when i said that the baby was coming (normally for a first baby it is 3 hours of pushing). the nurse did. she check and felt the head right there. a bunch of activity commenced as they quickly broke down the bed as i pushed through 4 contractions (complaining about the OB resident between contractions as he was trying to help me not tear but it was hurting and i just wanted the minute of rest between the pain of the contractions. Aiden made his appearance at 3:48 beating the OB dr into the room (they call him at 7 cm and usually that gives them plenty of time).
I was totally out of it as I gazed in wonder at this child on my chest that had just been in my belly for 9 months. Ben cut the cord. I couldn't really concentrate on breastfeeding (as my plan) as I was still complaining about the OB resident repairs that were going on (that's what I get for all the fast pushing). But it was okay b/c at that point i was so tired that i passed for an hour while they washed the baby and did all the usual tests and shots and stuff with ben supervising.
They transfered us around the corner to mother and baby about an hour after i woke up. Aiden has taken nicely to breastfeeding, so really i have no regrets about my pain management decisions. I am very glad that i didn't end up getting the epidural and am happy with my use of the other drugs. i do feel that it was due not just to the strength of the contractions, but more importantly the speed. Your body can release natural pain relievers in response to contractions if given enough time. So maybe next time I'll do it without any drugs.
I am also really happy with my hospital choice. Everyone was really supportive of whatever decisions i wanted to make while also maintaining a focus on the health of me and the baby. They helped me maintain my focus on no epidural while also focusing on the fact that i did not want the baby to end up in nicu (which would have happened if i had gotten an infection).
Posted by christina at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)
August 28, 2007
hey love
Aiden Steven Harper was born on Sunday, August 26, 2007 at 3:45 pm. He weighed in at 6 lbs 11 ozs. 18.5 inches long. He is healthy and adorable. He definitely is ben's as he has ben's nose. I am well. We go home very soon (today, hopefully before lunch). More details to follow.
Posted by christina at 8:42 AM | Comments (4)
August 20, 2007
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
This is my beautiful cat, with her bum ear.
We've gotten a lot of rain lately. I love it. I miss the rain. It rains in the south way more than up here. I love waking up in the middle of the night to thunderstorms. Of course, it is better than the waking up in the middle of the night to potty or because my body is preparing eviction notices, both of which kept me up last night. I really hope that I don't have three more weeks of this. But alas, I just breathe and try to enough this small window of my life where I have few things to do besides haul around this baby and keep up with my daily brain age calculations. The game does like to give you a hard time if you miss a couple of days. According to the local news I just saw while working out, some suburbs have gotten a foot of rain this month! Crazy!
One of the restaurants we went to in michigan had a no children under 18 policy. I thought this was interesting and of course had no problem with it after an earlier in the week dinner that had us sitting amongst a ton of kids. But the weird thing was that we got there and sitting close to us outside on the deck was a couple and a kid who was like 7. She was well behaved. Her parents were not as they spent a lot of the meal chain smoking and ignoring the kid. I felt bad for her. The food was excellent though.
I'm off to my 37 weeks appt this morning (crazy). and then to lunch/brunch with a friend from NU, who had no idea i was pregnant. I did warn him via text message when he messaged me that he was in town and wanted to catch up. He was surprised, but said that i shouldn't have told him to I could witness his eyes dropping out of his head when i walked in. I have been with child for sooooo long now it is hard to imagine not being with child, but in reality, it must be very surprising to those that wouldn't know.
I am still getting use to MT 4, but it seems that the best part is an auto-save feature. I hope it will avoid lost posts!
Posted by christina at 8:02 AM | Comments (0)
August 8, 2007
passing notes
beauty
the days pass quickly and quietly. we do our daily training on the eliptical and brain age. we invest some time in a mario bros game (version 3 for him, version 2 for me). i do a sudoko or two. the dog curls up on our laps all day and spends the evening harassing us and the cat.
we did smell this weird smell coming from the water heater/air conditioner/furnance closet. our favorite company who does this sort of thing was here within 30 minutes to assure us that it was nothing...that if it was something our carbon monoxide detector would be registering something beside 0. the smell was like lighter fluid after it has been lit...the dude said that it was just a temporary block of the exhaust of the water heater. he was right; it did go away a while later.
i finished my natural child birth book - ida may's guide to childbirth. it was good, though must be taken with a grain of salt (though what don't i read without a healthy dose of skepticism?) The book is pretty anti-hospital, but, though updated recently, doesn't really reflect the current attitudes of some hospitals (specifically - my hospital). In the past couple of years, i feel, hospital and OBs have embraced natural child birth techniques. My hospital has alternative birth rooms that allow you to give birth in any position - including the tub. In the regular labor and delivery room you have all the same options, except the tub, plus the option of drugs. The default policy is room-in (they don't take healthy babies to a nursery). It is routine for them to immediately place the baby on the mother's chest, and they encourage you to breastfeed right away. These are all points that ina may says that hospital don't let you do and why you should go to a birth center. the more i read the book, the more happy i became with our choice of hospital. I feel that the progressiveness is important.
I have decided about the epidural - no and yes. I am going to try as long as possible, but if it is a loooooong time, epidural it is. I don't think there is anything wrong with the epidural choice. For me, psychologically speaking, not being able to get up and move is a major problem. so hence the avoiding of the epidural. plus, with the hospital 4 blocks away, i plan on staying here, in our huge tub that never gets used, as long as possible.
but the book is good. i really recommend it, keeping in mind that it is biased. and only if you are not going to let it make you feel bad for choosing an OB (vs midwife) or a hospital (vs birthing center/home birth). Everyone is different and one should make the best choice for you.
that being said, the book gave me a lot of confidence in my body's ability to have this baby. Up until, well, a month or so ago, i truly believed that birth was so painful that drugs is the only way to go. i still believe that birth is painful, but this book gave me the confidence to not be afraid of the pain. it reminded me that my body is meant to give birth and that my fear of pain is always worse than the pain (i.e. the needle stick of drawing blood). it convinced me that giving birth was something to look forward to, not be afraid of. and so we shall try it au natural.
i must admit that i am sure this attitude is partly based in my compulsive desire to do things that hard way just to see if i can do them....
Posted by christina at 6:07 PM | Comments (2)
August 7, 2007
you figured me out
me, this past friday, so 34.5 wks (two weeks since the last pic - i put the wrong caption on that one. you can totally see, if you compare them, that sack has dropped. my lungs thank him. my bladdder, well, doesn't.)
This past week was the last day of pregnancy and beyond class - yay! I'm glad that we took the class because it made ben, who doesn't read much, learn a bunch of stuff that i had read.
But in the process, I was reminded that I still live in an inherently sexist world. This was a class of people I would put in the yuppie category. For some reason - real or imagined, we got the slide of "let dad do it his way" and "different isn't bad". These slides are based on the assumption that all the women are overbearing control freaks. I've also received this message from other places. It really really really makes me mad. In these days of "equality", why is it still the assumption that "mom" is going to do the vast majority of the taking care of the child while dad is just the occasional helper? I know study after study shows that the majority of mothers do the majority of child care, but if this societal norm is to ever change, we have to change the perception first and quite sending mothers signals that they are to be the main care giver.
I complained about it on my evaluation, mainly b/c i was working on my eval when she did the slide. but there were all sorts of small things during the class that supported this idea. I know that biology makes it so i will do all of the feeding the first month, but there are so many other things that I fully expect ben to do and that ben wants to do.
I know it is about who you marry. I married someone who I know would be fully involved in the raising of children and pets. and the cleaning of the house. and the doing of the errands. I married someone who is my partner and even though i currently lay around a bunch, i have not turned into judy mchousewife nor did ben expect/want me to. We still do the things we do when we were both busy (i cook and do laundry, ben cleans - trash, dishes, the pets, up after me as i like to leave a trial of dirty dishes and trash everywhere).
i'm also weary of things that depersonalize the birth process - including calling me the generic "mom" while in the hospital. I will be making a sign for my door that requests that people address me as christina.
unless i am your mom, you should not call me mom. for some reason this really bothers me when people do this. i know that it is from some deep seeded fear of losing my identity in motherhood. and though i know, with me, this would impossible, i would like to strive to remain that individualism - i am not just another "mom" giving birth in the hospital, but christina who is giving birth in the hospital. and i know this all comes from my weariness that all people see (and want to talk about) is the coming attraction. i am actually not tired of being pregnant. i enjoy feeling the baby move. to me honest, most of the time i forget, especailly if i am up and doing things. the sack of organs is getting big and running out of room, so he doesn't move as much as he did. and when i am up and around i don't notice the kicks. i forget as the body in my mind doesn't include the big tummy. i am always surprised when i catch my reflection in a window. i am lucky lucky (and active) and so have had no of the common pregnancy complaints that would make me want to just have this baby already. i do pee a lot. i tire easily, but other than that, i have no complaints about being pregnant.
but i do have that feeling. i want to have this baby already so it quits being all about the baby. that people quit talking to me about the pregnancy. i guess people then just want to talk about the child, but at least it isn't about me. it is about the child. and then only if they know i have a child. currently there is a big sign on me and that is all people see. and want to talk about. instead of making small talk about the weather, people ask if it is going to be a boy. and then expect me to want to know how they knew (dude, it is a 50/50 guess!). they ask if we have a name (like we would tell the cashier at the random store). they ask when i am due. I know that people are just trying to be nice, but i would rather talk about the weather....or better yet how the state legislature is stuck in a budget battle and how can't they just pass that all ready?
(side note on the boy guesses- the guess have been coming only since he dropped, so i started (i guess) carrying him lower. and hence all the boy guesses i think )
Posted by christina at 4:49 PM | Comments (0)
August 1, 2007
life gets in the way
i love her
so, i don't know how people survive bed rest. I'm been trying to laying on the couch all day on recommendation of my doctor just for some discomfort i've been having. I am fine (and not near pre-term labor), but they just wanted me to "take it easy". so no working out for me today, and that was pretty much a major annoyance.
oh well. i like my morning workouts. they make me feel less like a bump on the log. but today it is my job to be a bump on the log as much as possible. but it is driving me crazy and i've only been at it for 4 hours. i can't imagine what it would be like to be on actual bed rest.
everyone fully expects that i will be able to work out tomorrow. and go to target and have lunch with the boy whose last day of summer school was today. to say that he is excited is an understatement. he has about 20 days off until he starts the fall term.
there are really stupid things on the tv. really stupid people. though my book (the heart is a lonely hunter) is quite good. so i just read. and try not to each a million chocolate chip cookies.
i got another massage yesterday. it was much appreciated b/c my neck has been bothering me a ton. she spent a lot of time on the muscle. it helped a lot, but the soreness is back today. i think it is from how i sit nowdays.
Posted by christina at 3:51 PM | Comments (0)
July 22, 2007
I am holding half an acre
So we finally have all of the big pieces for the nursery. Here's some pictures. with our first born.
the glider
the crib
the changing table/dresser
the bookshelf and swingy/bouncey chair
Posted by christina at 4:39 PM | Comments (0)
July 19, 2007
when the coast is clear
33.5 wks
As I walked to my haircut today, I briefly cursed the humidity. But then I realized that it is only in the high 70s. I remembered how I would spend chunks of my summer outside at summer camp without air conditioning in arkansas in 90+ heat. We would always say it isn't the heat, but the humidity. It is great weather today, though a touch humid.
i miss summer camp. i miss being in the woods, spending the afternoons at the swimming pool and the evenings around the campfire. my kids are definitely going to have the opportunity to go to overnight camp in the woods. with cabins. and campfires.
yesterday I had lunch with my friend emily. she is 17 wks pregnant. i think that i think that i am smaller than I am. she is showing pretty well. it is cute. her friend just had twins and had the very experience that i was afraid of having had I chosen to deliver at Northwestern.
Her friend was carrying twins and her doctor decided to induce once she made it to 38 weeks. Her appt was at 2 am. (so as to deliver in the afternoon or so). She got there, and they were so busy she had to wait in the waiting room for two hours! She said there were other people there who had waited 12 hours. The L&D was very busy as they usually have 30 births, and they had had 50! Her friend didn't even get a regular L&D room, but one of the operating room. Crazy.
Though i tell people that I am not delivering at northwestern because it is snooty, the real reason is that it is sooooo popular that things like this happen. And so I am quite happy with our decision.
We started baby class last week. It isn't as bad as I feared. The 4 other couples seem normal. The instructor is not that great (but not horrible), and therefore it is boring. We did get a tour of L&D and the Mom & Baby unit. The most interesting thing is that they don't have a nursery. The babies stay with the moms the whole time. I was planning on insisting on that anyways, so i am glad to know that it is SOP.
(side note - several people have told me that i should let the baby go to the nursery the first night so i can sleep. if this is what you want to do great, but i am not. i have ben. and others. so i think i'll be able to sleep if i can. in the end, i think that i'll sleep better if he is in the room with me. but to each their own. do what works for you and your baby.)
of course, there is a NICU, in case something goes wrong.
Anyways, it was good to see. It was also good to see that all of the rooms are private, so ben will be able to stay (there are a couple of semi-private just in case).
I see a lot of pregnant women nowadays. i think i just notice it more. and in the winter coats cover bellies. but i know a lot of people whose birthdays are in august. so a lot of late summer babies. i only wonder this as i wonder how busy the hospital is going to be. but there are only 5 couples in our class (all due in late august through the middle of sept.).
As i've noted here, this pregnancy has gone really great, but the hormones i must comment on. yesterday i almost cried at the sex and the city rerun where carrie and mr. big break-up for good (well, except for the affair in later seasons and the end of the series). sigh.
Posted by christina at 2:22 PM | Comments (0)
July 6, 2007
every little thing she does is magic
me. 30.5 weeks
There is a police (as in sting) concert going on at wrigley. We have the door open and I can clearly hear every word. it is better than being there. comfort of my own apartment and a concert. it is much like how on the 4th, the people down the street put on a nice little fireworks show (with real in the air fireworks). we watched from the back balcony with Jenny and Rachel. It scared the shit out of the dog, but it was nice. We had them over for grilling. They brought a lot of yummy sides and desserts. It was all quite nice.
My mom and other sister (also named Jenny) were here last weekend. It was really nice having them here. We saw Wicked, which was excellent. We had great seats and had a great time. I do really like Wicked. It was better the second time. Musicals are better the second time for me for some reason. I am not sure why. i think it is because i'm not trying to figure out where the story is going or how long it is going to last. I can just enjoy it.
While they were in town they also put in a good hard day of shopping and lunch at the taste of chicago. They also went to a cubs game. neither event i could participate in because of the belly. walking around all days hurts the belly muscles. and my problem with crowds has gotten worse with the belly, so cubs games and taste of chicago are just not my thing.
On sunday, ben's mom, sister, and my sister threw us a baby shower. it was fun to see his family and to have my family there. We got a crazy amount of stuff. our families, they are crazy generous. statement of fact. so now we have pretty much everything we need. ben and his dad are going to put together the crib and bookcase tomorrow and we shall have ourselves a nursery. crazy crazy. considering I'll be considered full term in about 6 weeks, it is nice to be getting all the stuff taken care of. ben is so excited about the furniture. it is amusing.
i want the glider to come for no other reason than it is crazy comfortable and i would like a comfortable chair right about now. my back is hurting from my car trip to naperville yesterday to see liz. it was great to see her. it is always great to see her. plus she knitted the sack of organs a blanket and a hat. her knitting skills are amazing!
Posted by christina at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)
June 27, 2007
Marys of the Sea
29 wks
Vote for Pete and Jay. Every day. Many Times.
see, people don't believe me, but one hits the third trimester and one balloons. i think it is because a lot of the weight is going to the baby and he's already taken up any available room, so he has to expand out. At this point the baby is around 2 lbs. for the next 10 weeks he'll add a half a pound a week to make his goal weight of 7 lbs. That means (hopefully only) 10 more pounds for me. which will put me right in the middle of the 25-35 lb recommended weight gain. So i am happy with that. Though as one might expect, i've been a little obsessive about my weight, to the point where my OB made ben hide the scale. so it goes. she wants me to eat when i'm hungry and not worry about gaining weight. i, of course, know that i eat when i'm hungry and when i'm bored and usually knowing how much i weigh keeps the boredom eating down. data, i like data. i am always interested in my blood pressure and any lab numbers as well as my weight. I went to my neurlogoist Tuesday to have a little chat about epidurals and such (i am cleared for anything). They take your bp there with an automatic blood pressure cuff and the thing killed my arm! It hurt so bad that it made my upper reading be really high. In the middle the nurse asked if I had any pain and I said the blood pressure cuff! My lower reading was normal (in the 70s), but my upper reading was as high as i've ever seen it. It reminded me of becca's problem with automatic cuffs.
Posted by christina at 8:16 PM | Comments (0)
June 13, 2007
cars and guitars
the weather in chicago has been perfect. it was perfect weather as we spent sunday wandering around downtown. After Steve's panel thing (rumor has it i was on book tv some), ben and i wandered around the book fair tents. There were a lot of cheap used books, but i never did find anything that i wanted to get. ben got a couple of books for the sack of organs and the dog. both like to be read to. then we did some shopping enjoying the afternoon until we met emily and david for dinner.
life has been quite busy despite no school (yay!) , i've been "working". yesterday we day tripped out to Schaumburg for some Ikea action. We did the babies r us thing - picked out strollers and swings and stuff. tomorrow we'll do the furniture thing/sheet thing at pottery barn. my sister did all the little stuff at target because she is far more knowledgeable than me on bottles and stuff. it seems like we actually might be having this baby. it is weird, though this week is the third trimester. crazy.
Posted by christina at 9:49 PM | Comments (1)
June 7, 2007
counting the stars
me. 27 weeks.
My father-in-law was on Chicago Public Radio's news magazine 848. He talked about his book he wrote: Crossing Hoffa. It just came out. I've read a good bit of it (and will finish now that i am done with school yay!), and it is quite good. The interview was interesting. I'm fairly jealous as I love 848.
So, yes, i am done with school. it is a little weird, as I am not sure what to do with myself. Though i do have a million of little things i've been putting off for 10 weeks...like the wedding album. i was busy today dropping my paper off, making my quarterly trip to target, and getting my glucose test done. And tomorrow I "work".
The glucose test involves going to the doctor's office building lab and drinking an orange soda. You wait an hour and then they draw your blood. There are some interesting (annoying) people that come through the waiting room. There was a pair of 19 year olds girls with a one year old. One of them was there for the same test I was and so I spent the time trying to figure out whose kid it was. I think it was the pregnant chick's kid. so. sad. Then there was the really old lady who complained that the waiting area was cold (it was 90 degrees today) and the older man who told me that reading was a good choice as everything on the tv is trash. (The tv was on people's court and it was TRASH. One case involved them describing a 50 year-old man as a sex boy toy.) It was a pretty strange hour. I was so. happy. when they calling my name. I hope i don't have diabetes. I more hope i didn't screw up the test by having a granola bar for lunch. i didn't really plan eating today very well.
Posted by christina at 4:53 PM | Comments (0)
June 5, 2007
i love the sun when it shines
oscar on the table
So i decided long ago that we would do cloth diapers. Here is an interesting wired article comparison of disposable vs. cloth. To me, it would be a no briainer that cloth would better. Not only are you not filling up landfills with diapers, but the filler in diapers is a huge consumer of trees. The article says that cloth diapers could be bad due to the amount of water used to wash the diaper. This, i think, incomparable to the landfill/tree issue. Water can be recycled (i.e. in some regions grey water is recycled to flush toilets or to water things). The author also cites the energy consumption of diaper services. I agree, driving diapers around town is not good either. (we are not using a diaper service.) therefore i am pretty happy with my choice, especially since other things i have read say that cloth is better for skin and stuff.
my stats prof is quoted extensively in this article.
Posted by christina at 7:09 PM | Comments (0)
May 23, 2007
the house wins
my bag.
the puppy ruined her first shoe today. my fault for letting her be unsupervised with access to the shoe room (our second room). it was my wedding shoes, down since court's wedding. oh well. they only were like $30 and i had worn them twice and couldn't think of when i would wear them again. it is hard to stay mad at the puppy.
the sack of organ has gathered quite amount of strength since Monday. it is like he knew he hit the 24 wk (6 mo) mark on that day and he was ready to be heard. well, felt. i might have to rename him sack of organs and kicks. he is also residing on the right side of my body, giving me (what i think) is a lopsided tummy. of course, ben says he can't see it, but I CAN. i definitely look pregnant now. people are trying to give me their seats on the el. i don't take them, of course. i don't know why. mostly b/c i don't need to yet. i am sure some day i'll take them up on the offer. I've also had by FAR the most growth this month. i guess when you don't grow that much for the first 5 mos, at some pt it does catch up with you.
The crazy neighbor pissed me off again this week. We had rachel and her friend jenny stay here for a couple of nights last week. They were down with pepper one day and the neighbor was out and gave jenny a 5 min lecture on why she should close our front gate. First, if neighbor has a problem with one of my guests, she needs to say something to me, not to the guest. Second, NO ONE, not even her, closes the gate consistently. I do most of the time, ben sometimes. but it is always open. and it isn't a big deal as it is decoration anyways. neighbor's "reason" was that it keeps the dogs and kids in. Okay, if you have let your kids run out your front door and then the front door to the building and still don't have control over then when the reach the sidewalk, then you need to get control of your children. The irony of this is that last fall i was down talking with her one day and she let her kids run back and forth across the alleyway without paying attention to them or making them stop and make sure no one was coming down the alley. i was sure i was going to watch one of them get run over that day as people aren't that careful coming out of the alley and even if they were, they probably won't see a three foot high child. but i didn't say anything b/c it isn't my place. as she should be lecturing MY guests in general, much less about something stupid.
Posted by christina at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2007
don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
me. 23 wks.
Posted by christina at 7:28 PM | Comments (0)
May 6, 2007
the sky fell down and pulled us in
last weekend I made very yummy chicken pot pies. I loved how all the colors looked in the pan.
4 more weeks of class. funny how the quarters just fly buy, though this quarter i am thankful. i feel like i should be enjoying this time where i feel great, but i just like the weeks to pass. people like to tell me that i should enjoy this time b/c it passes too quickly. i am enjoying both the time and the passing quickly of the time.
i have definitely reached the hungry phase of the second trimester. the baby finally moved off my stomach and now i do longer have small stomach syndrome for the most part. of course, the baby moving off my stomach i believe occurred with a definitely growth in the belly. it seems like we are in the growing out stage and not in the crowding out your organs phase.
my exercise ball will be here tuesday. i'm quite excited. Once i reached the 20th week i am not suppose to do exercises on my back. i said goodbye to my awesome mtv pilates dvd. the prenatal pilates i got from netflix was lame. after a little research, i found that i can still do (and should do) the ab exercises, but just not on my back, hence the exercise ball. while i have been waiting, though, i have been sneaking in 20 roll-ups on my strength days. i have just been doing the on my side portion of the aforementioned pilates disc, but i really couldn't resist adding the roll-ups back in once i read it was just a cutting off blood flow to my legs problem rather than hurting the baby problem. but now, with the exercise ball and my pilates on the ball book, i should be back in business.
(side note, the major problem with most prenatal workouts is that they are made for people who didn't really do much before, or just did a regular amount of exercise before. they are not made for crazies like me who still elliptical ~ 5 miles 6 days a week and want to do some good strengthening on my day off.)
Posted by christina at 1:12 PM | Comments (0)
May 2, 2007
when every living breath was another new dawn
me again at 21 weeks.
i decided to take another pic yesterday as my outfit didn't hide my belly.
i am so excited that it is warm and i'm not in the lab so i can wear skirts and flip-flops.
Posted by christina at 7:54 PM | Comments (0)
April 30, 2007
bend and not break
me at 21 wks
full of tapas. yum. and in the one of 2 maternity shirts i've worn. i am currently in love with this shirt. it makes me look a little bigger than normal clothes, but so it goes.
ben is off at pete's show. pete's band is in town and I can't go because of the smoke issue. though it works out as i have a midterm tomorrow and staying out to midnight or so tonight would not be the best idea. but i did go out to dinner with everyone and it was excellent. i had sangria and it was yummy. i love sangria. and yes, i stayed without my dr's rec of 1 glass of wine, which is like 1.5-2 glasses of sangria. as i look more and more pregnant, it makes me want to drink in public just to dare people to say something. : )
once you get use to going to bed with someone for, well, many years, it is weird to go to bed without them. just me and the puppy and my note cards tonight. i've actually gotten a fair amount of productive studying done during my 5 miles on the elliptical in the mornings and on the train friday and monday. stupid memorization. i will be glad to be done with my last core as it seems that my days of straight up memorization will be over.
some days i am reminded why ben and i are such a good match. we just are zen about things, including the child. people like to ask if we are excited/terrified. neither, really. we are happy, but we rarely go to either extreme. This is something we want and are happy. And are very thankful that it was easy and has been easy and hope it will continue to be easy.
Posted by christina at 9:58 PM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2007
knee bone's connected to the leg bone
so there definitely is not enough room in my body for a child and food. I cannot eat a normal amount of food without feeling like i am going to burst. It is that feeling people get after Thanksgiving dinner where you eat more that you think you can. This is how i feel after any meal. It is annoying because i get hungry, eat, feel horrible, not eat for hours, cycle starts all over again.
despite what my scale says, my stomach is quite prominent. though it hides well in most clothes as a woman at work invited me out to a bar for drinks for her birthday. I had other plans so i didn't have to explain why i couldn't go to a bar. though i doubt i would have explained and went with the other plans excuse even if i wasn't leaving to see thomas for china food and pan's labyrinth. The movie was excellent.
i just am now starting to dip into my maternity clothes. i really only have any sort of maternity clothes because my awesome family has been buying me things. i really have got to get out and get some black pants. i have little motivation because i am still pretty much fitting in the ones i have as long as they can sit under my belly. friday i wore this really cute shirt that kit got me. it is a preggers shirt, but totally is in the style of shirts are in style, so i got away with looking stylish and not pregnant.
so, our big news is that we are having a boy. i thought it was a boy so i wasn't surprised. my mom is so excited. she had already made a bunch of really cute baby clothes. she is excited about the boy as she had three girls. i am happy with a boy. i would have been happy with a girl. so would ben. i am just happy that everything is healthy, it appears, in there. i had my follow-up ultra sound to look at the heart and spine and everything looks good. he has two hand with 5 fingers each and 2 foots, one of which has 5 toes, the other i didn't get a picture of so that will be our surprise.
yes. we've named him. we easily picked out a boy's name and a girl's name months ago. i picked the boy's first. ben picked the girl's name. ben picked the boy's middle name. and we liked what each other picked. and so it was easy. but we aren't telling anyone. except pepper.
Posted by christina at 8:42 PM | Comments (0)
April 14, 2007
head and heart
rachel's kitty.
when rachel came to visit during her spring break, she brought her kitty. i love her kitty. her kitty loves to eat plants and really loved our row of plants. it really amused me.
life is busy as i try to "work" and do school and grow a child and take care of the ones i have.
we did the "big" ultrasound this week. I watch way too many medical shows. As i laid there with the probe on my stomach watching the screen, i really didn't make the connection that the screen image was not just a tv show, but coming from my tummy. i still don't really believe it. though it was seriously cool to see the kid's spine on the ultrasound. i didn't know it would be so visible. so everything looks good, but it seems we went a little early for them to get a good look at the heart, so i'm going back in two weeks.
courtney is getting married next weekend. crazy crazy. i'm quite excited to see my h.s. friends. i got the "bridesmaid" letter today. the husbands are invited to go skeet shooting at 9 that morning. i think ben should go. he says needs his sleep. after reading that hair doing is starting at 8 am i am SO HAPPY i did not sign up for hair doing. that is a long day. hair doing at 8. lunch at 11:30. pictures at 3. wedding at 6. reception until late. it is definitely a weekend full of wedding extravaganza. it is my first wedding to be in besides my own. so that is exciting. i am also excited to be finished with worrying about fitting into the dress. but i think it will be fine.
though i am really not looking forward to talking a lot about the sack o' organs. people really like to talk about the sack o' organs and i don't really have that much to say. yes, i came down with a baby. yes, we are excited. yes, it was planned, though it happened way too fast to believe that it was as planned as some people's, but it was planned. and a surprise. maybe people will just think i've gained some weight.
i felt validated on Thursday after attending a women in public policy lunch. one of the panelist, who is older, answered a question about balancing a career and children with a word of caution that she has friends who have waited until all of their ducks were in a row (the next promotion, etc) to decided it was time to have a baby and have gotten really frustrated when it hasn't happened the first month or the third. so though i haven't questioned my decision, it reminded me that this is the right choice for me.
Posted by christina at 6:35 PM | Comments (0)
April 4, 2007
8 seconds left in overtime
me. 17 wks.
ben wonders why i just don't let him take the picture, but i love the traditional self-protrait belly shot. sometimes i look a little bigger. in the morning, smaller.
Posted by christina at 9:35 PM | Comments (0)
April 3, 2007
Sincerley, Me
SO. I'm in this very strange situation at school. I have never experienced anything like it. It started with the new quarter last week. I signed up for a persuasion course. The prof is old and amusing and very interesting. He was bewildered at the 30 people who where there the first day. It was much bigger than expected. and he was at a loss for what to do. (Why not cap the enrollment?) Anyways, he mentioned that he was teaching a history of science course in the afternoon that had very few people in it. I though it was be interesting, and so I decided to transfer into the afternoon class and leave the persuasion for next spring when it might be smaller.
So i go the first day. There are 6 people - 4 undergrads and 2 harris people from the morning session. I go the second day - just me and the other harris dude. I am perfectly happy to go back to the persuasion course. dude is also in the persuasion - i.e. history of science is his third course. The prof is willing to teach the course, but he and I are both uncomfortable with the lecturing to two students situation. Dude says that he is going to try to get into another third class, but won't know until the next class (today).
So this morning after I sat through the persuasion course, we find out he couldn't get into the econ course he wanted and instead of just finding ANOTHER COURSE so history of science can die a peaceful death, he decides that he wants to do the history of science course. of course, i am a nice person and go with it. The prof does too, though is obviously not excited about it. So we meet in the afternoon. Prof still not excited. Dude has some change of mind since noon and the end of this class and decides that, wait, maybe i should try to get into another course. Instead of just doing it (as i know the course he is looking at doesn't have a cap) he is stringing us along. It is so weird. He has no respect for my or the prof's time. The prof feels obligated to teach the course if he wants to take it. I feel obligated to stay to make it not just a one person course. though I am pretty much at the end of my rope and am really close to just saying f*ck this and telling them both that I'm taking the persuasion course. This is ridiculous! If I didn't like the prof so much, and wasn't shamelessly using the opportunity to get the 85 year old man to learn my name as to give me an A in the persuasion course which has no formal evaluation system, I totally would be e-mail them both. I am doing the readings for both classes, which is annoying since I have much less time due to the saving of the earth on Mondays and Fridays. The readings are interesting, so that makes it a little better.
So strange.
so. strange.
almost as strange as the fluttering in my lower tummy. it has been off and on all day. is it the sack o' organs? or is it stretching of the uterus? Whatever it is, IT IS STRANGE. Some people say it feels normal, but to me STRANGE. VERY STRANGE. This morning in the persuasion course, i felt it and almost flipped out. It is very similar to the feelings I had in that region before spring break during a final exam. I brushed it off as it was early (14 wks). Though most people don't sit around in a silent room staring at an exam for the 3rd time and giving their body their undivided focus. As i was not doing that over spring break nor at saving the earth, i haven't really felt it until i was back in class not distracted. Though the fluttering is distracting me now.
I just want my schedule finished.
I am love love loving commuting downtown. Even with the mean renovation to the el which is making my commute more people packed, I love sitting on the train reading. I love walking to my building. ben came down on friday for dinner and walking north across the river i had occasion to turn around and point out the building I worked in and it turned out the my one of my favorite of the skyline - the Jeweler's Building. I never looked up before. It is awesome.
Posted by christina at 8:38 PM | Comments (0)
March 31, 2007
hey ya
puppy feet
so i'm actually feeling pregnant in the belly region, especially after any reasonable amount of food. there is a reason they say to eat 5-6 small meals. a normal size meal makes me feel so stuffed, which makes me feel huge. i don't think the baby is big enough to be really crowding my stomach, but damn, do i feel stuffed now after what use to be a normal amount of food. though that really isn't stopping me from from having thin mints as dessert. so yummy.
my belly is poofing, which is weird just b/c i haven't gained any more weight since monday, but i definitely feel more pregnant. though we've eaten out a ton this past couple of days so i probably put on some weight since wednesday. ben says that i am obbsessed about my weight. of course I am. after years and years and years of trying not to gain weight, it is hard to see the scale going up. though i know that it should, i just don't want to gain more than the recommended amount for health/complication reasons.
we had bbq for dinner. it was awesome. we drive to evanston for it and it is totally worth it.
we are dog sitting emily's dog this weekend. her dog, bailey, is awesome. pepper, on the other hand, is crazy. she just don't have any dog skills. she wants to play all the time. they have gotten a lot better and by they i mean ben and i. it took us a while to get use to the playing that involved pepper's head ending up in bailey's mouth. we didn't understand that bailey's growling is part of the playing and that we should just let them be and they are fine (good advice for a lot of things besides them). they played a lot this afternoon until pepper passed out on top of me while i was napping. i take naps when i read on the couch. my reading on the history of bureaucracy obviously is riveting.
the dogs are amusing. bailey is obsessed with the cat. it is quite funny. he will just stare at the cat for hours. he has never been around a cat, which explains the obsession.
Posted by christina at 9:19 PM | Comments (0)
March 26, 2007
knocking on your door
seriously.
in the mornings, ben leaves for work, and I work out. The puppy goes to bed. She sleeps in her crate at night, but loves loves loves to sleep in the bed. She loves going back to bed in the morning no matter what else is going on. and one morning last week i walked in after my shower to find her like this. on her own. she is so funny.
it is so warm here. i love it. okay. it was a little warm yesterday, but i am love with this little burst of flip flop weather. it is like june. the only problem is that the dr's office was burning up as their building hadn't turn on the air conditioning yet for the year. it is march. i don't blame them.
so i gained 2 lbs in the past two weeks. ha ha, really this past weekend. as my appetite has returned and i want to eat everything. rachel the sister was here this past week, which was awesome for many reasons, one being her matching desire for egg mcmuffins. dude. i love egg mcmuffins.
so yes, the doc is happy that my weight is on the up and up. i am happy because it does seem that it is lactose intolerance that was causing all my ills (and weight loss). Who knows why it just appeared. I guess it isn't uncommon to have late onset. but my theory is that I am bothered my lactose, but not b/c i don't have the enzyme, but b/c i did get sick and now my body has an immune response to lactose. of course, this is not supported by any medical personnel, just my own crackpot theory. i just know that i am feeling a lot better since i switch my cereal from milk (w/ lactaid) to soy juice. oooooh so i just found this website (medical) that supports my theory.
and i've gained 2 lbs. solely in cupcakes as it was ben's b-day saturday. i told him his present was the sack of organs growing inside me. he was happy with his present.
Posted by christina at 8:58 PM | Comments (0)
March 17, 2007
pop goes my heart
well, i feel better after a morning of napping. my fever is way down (meaning it is not spiking right before I am due for more tylenol). and i am hungry. all good signs. ben had lunch with his dad today and mentioned I was sick. his dad said it was probably the flu (i just this morning decided it was the flu and hadn't told ben yet). his dad said the only year he got the flu was the year he got the flu shot. so i am back on bored on my long standing theory that the flu shots just make you sick. though i'm glad i go it as i would feel bad if i didn't and then got the flu. at least tried to avoid the flu. the main problem is that everyone has to go to finals wether they have the flu or not. and so they spread their germs.
1:30 pm
.........
i got a flu shot in december specifically to avoid getting the flu. i've never had the flu, but with the baby and all i got the shot. and now I have THE FLU. i've never been this sick. my fever has peaked at 102 causing me to freak out because of the baby, but I'm in the second trimester, so i'm assured my nurse mom and the internet that the baby is okay. and I can take some cold meds, though they DON'T WORK.
Mainly I am living on cough drops. Passing the time between tylenol doses and just hang out. Thankfully liz and i are chill so we just chill. she is great.
Posted by christina at 9:48 AM | Comments (0)
March 13, 2007
i will be good enough
January 30, 2007
8 weeks.
Today was our first OB appt. It was a long wait. I was not happy, though loved my OB, so was okay. I think that is just how things are. I was excited b/c they did end up doing an ultrasound. The Dr. found the baby really fast with the external probe. My full bladder helped. It is the little peanut in the middle of the picture. We saw the heart beat, which was weird, but good. There is like a real heart in there. It is still early, but everything looks good. I was excited to have scientific data. : )
Posted by christina at 1:18 PM | Comments (0)
March 9, 2007
big eyed fish
January 18, 2007
Well, I had my first everything sounds really gross but pizza moment last night. I had felt so tired all day and was pretty nauseous by the the time ben got home. I just couldn't bring myself to even think about cooking, so pizza it was. A specific type of pizza. though it is not just the pizza, but also the awesome salad I get with the pizza. (it takes one slice to qualm my craving, so the yummy salad makes up the rest of the meal.)
i love cooking, so i hope that this does not become a trend.
January 20, 2007
So the days pass and life goes one. That is the strangest part about being pregant - that life still goes on. You think that the moment you find out that you are pregant everything changes. It does not. You live your life. You go to class, read your readings, and study for tests. Life does not stop. Life does not even change that much. Yeah, I'm restricted to the elliptical when there is any chance of slipping. I feel not great alllllll the time. And i do not like to think about how this all ends. I want a baby, but not one to come out of my body. Already I'm wanting my normal body back. The one that use to run even with it might be icey or freezing. One the sleeps through the night. One that doesn't try to faint. One that feels normal. I haven't gained really any weight to speak of (like 2-3 lbs and i think it is just water from the bloating). I fit the same in all my clothes, but i am just uncomfortable. I think it will get better once I really believe it is a baby and not just that I am dying.
Posted by christina at 5:46 PM | Comments (0)
March 4, 2007
there's room inside for two
January 12, 2007
Well, I'm feeling less crampy. In fact, I feel fine. So fine that I am worried. I spend a lot of my time worried about whether I am actually pregnant. Or that it is some weird medical condition. Or that I'm not pregnant anymore. We haven't been telling the world, but we have had to tell a couple of people beside our fams. People that we see everyday and that need to know why we are trying to faint or why we can't go to the smokey bar for drinks. and with every new person i am sure that i am going to regret telling people. it is so early. so early. so so so early. but how to not tell people? it is exciting. you want to tell people that you are close with. people that you would want to know that something bad happened (if something bad happens). i've told one person that doesn't exactly fall into that category, but i still talk to every day. i feel like i am testing fate. and i get really angsty when ben says things like i have a feeling that it is going to stick. TESTING FATE!!!!!!! Though i know (and believe) that there is nothing that fate or I could have done or not done (i.e. my 5 miles runs) to prevent something happening, it is more about managing expectations.
I feel like until I hear a heart beat i will not actually believe that i am pregnancy and until, oh, march, i'm not going to be zen about it. Though, i am zen about it. b/c stress and caffeine do matter. and i've cut the later out, and working on the former.
Posted by christina at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)
March 1, 2007
componet curve
January 7, 2007
well, we told our families on wednesday.
i had seen my internal med doc that morning. it was a funny feeling going into a college health center pregnant. i felt like i should assure everyone that this was a really good thing. i doubt it normally is. they did another pee test, and with the 4th confirmation we decided to tell our families. Though i had to temper everyone's excitement b/c it is still really really early, it really helped to get the news out of our heads.
I also told my friend at school emily, which was good b/c i almost fainted at the end of class friday. it was really scary. she was really good. she has a diabetic brother in law and totally recognized it as low blood sugar and starting feeding me all their fruit she had in her bag.
I have never come close to fainting b/c of low blood sugar. it wasn't like i had skipped a meal. i had my normal pre- and post- run breakfasts. Though you really aren't suppose to be increasing one's diet at much at this point, i'm going to have to insert a lot more fruit in the snacks.
the problem with me and the fainting is that i am convinced something really bad is happening and it is going to end up with me and the paramedics.
it makes me a little nervous to run, but i have a clementine in the pocket mid run snack plan that should make a run all okay. though that all become a nonissue if winter ever come back. the 30-40s makes it prefect running weather. once it gets into the 20s and/or it ices, i'll be back in elliptical land.
Posted by christina at 10:06 AM | Comments (2)
February 27, 2007
it's beginning to get to me
Well, it is a day that we thought would never get here. The 12 week mark, the moment when you can breath and tell the world.
I'm pregnant.
I've been blogging about it, inspired by Sarah's friend Jen. I'll start posting them starting now.
Jan. 2, 2007
At the end of November, I got angsty about my career plans and decided that I didn't want to wait another year to start trying to have a baby. We had been planning to have one right after I graduated from my Master's program. After years of hearing stories of the trouble people have conceiving, I decided that I really wanted to avoid sitting around trying to get pregnant. I would go insane.
So we decided to start "trying", thinking that it would take a couple of months. Thinking that if a year passed, then we could get "help".
I've been queasy a lot of this month (dec), but I attributed it to the flu shot I got. The excuse was wearing thin as the weeks passed and the queasiness did not. I chalked it up to my brain playing tricks.
On New Year's Eve, I took a pregnancy test, two days "early" in hopes that it would clear me to drink. The faint shade of blue perpendicular to the negative line did no such thing. It left us in that grey area. No liquor for me to toast in the new years. My past two runs have showed an elevated heart rate - i.e. my heart beats faster with the same amount of exertion as before.
I tested again today and got up to test my first pee of the morning at 5 am. I had to go. And so I had to test. And the blue line perpendicular to the negative sign is not so light. Not so light at all. It is definitely there.
Of course, I couldn't go back to sleep. I couldn't wake Ben, as he has to work today. I consulted the internet for those questions that were keeping me up. Yes, I can extend my insurance, even though I'm planning on taking the fall off and the baby is due right after my insurance expires for this year. I am due Sept. 10, according to the babycenter due date calculator. I've already read a whole bunch on running and pilates during pregnancy, so I am cleared to continue with my usual activities.
Mostly, I am freaked out. I didn't expect this to happen the first month. I will admit, I expected to have problems. And hopefully I won't. But i am also excited. The timing works out as I will be really pregnant in the summer and can take fall off. I can definitely go to school in the winter, spring, fall. Thank goodness Rachel is moving up here. This is exactly how I wanted to have babies - with family close by. but yes, the whole thing freaks me out. i am trying not to freak out about how I am going to go back to school with a 3 month old, but I can do it. It will be okay.
Posted by christina at 7:03 AM | Comments (4)