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August 30, 2007
My immune system has returned and with it my allergies are in full force. No allergies were a nice bonus of pregnancy.
The weather has cooled off up here. It is as gorgeous day. My mom is up and we went out to bed bath and beyond for a hamper and target for other baby related stuff. It was nice to be out. My brain is still fuzzy and i totally missed some turns but me, my mom, the puppy, and the baby made it just fine.
Everyone is settling in nicely. Pepper is really cute about Aiden. She is protective when I am feeding. And gets rally concerned when he cries. She likes to smell him and lick his feet. Aiden so doesn't care. He is chill. He sleeps mostly. Eats and poops like a champ.
Posted by christina at 8:09 PM | Comments (0)
August 29, 2007
sweet hello
as I spent that week in prelabor I read a lot of birth stories and enjoyed them, so I'm going to share mine.
Aiden decided not to wait for my t-shirt quilt. And in true ironic fashion my water broke about 1:30 Sunday morning. I didn't want my water to break (did you know that it breaks before hard labor in only 10-17% of pregnancies). I didn't want my water to break because I was afraid of going into the hospital before active labor. They don't let you eat once you check into the hospital and so I'd been wanting to labor at home. But when your water breaks they want you there with in two hours.
So we show up to the hopital at 3 am. My contraction are regular, strong, and close together. The staff is quite good about my wishes though they obviously usally don't get someone who insists on no iv (hep lock) and the ability to drink liquids. They check with my group's on call dr and once he okayed those things i was good to go.
except that my body decided, well, let's not actually have a baby today. (hence why I was checking my e-mail during labor, sarah) I really wanted to avoid pitocin (the synthetic hormone used to induce and agument labor). I had heard that it makes the contractions way more intense. and so in order to try to avoid the epidural I really wanted to avoid the piochen. The doctor was great about it. He let me walk another couple of hours (we walked from 3 am to noon) and then I finally accepted the fact that i was going to need help. It was way more important to avoid infection (once the amnotic sac is compromised, an infection certainly develops within 12-24 hours).
so at 12:30 I got the pitocin. My nurse was great and helped me into a number of different position to help with the ever increasing pain of contractions. Through out the whole time it was really frustrating to not be able to be checked to see the progress of dialtation due to the infrection risk. At 2:30 ( i think) i could not stand it anymore and asked for something to just take the edge off of the pain. The narcotic, i was told, would take away about half of the pain for 2 hours. I decided to do it as there was no way i was going to survive the next 5 cms and pushing (they estimate that one would dilate 1 cm/hr). They gave it to me and my body, not use to any drugs, started feeling really strange and I just passed out asleep.
45 minutes later, I hear, I woke up screaming that the narcotic was not working and that i must have an epidural. They check me again - 7 cm. They got the epidrual person and while they were trying to figure out if I really could sit still for the spinal tap (I could not, though insisted that i could) i felt the need to push. the ob resident did not believe me when i said that the baby was coming (normally for a first baby it is 3 hours of pushing). the nurse did. she check and felt the head right there. a bunch of activity commenced as they quickly broke down the bed as i pushed through 4 contractions (complaining about the OB resident between contractions as he was trying to help me not tear but it was hurting and i just wanted the minute of rest between the pain of the contractions. Aiden made his appearance at 3:48 beating the OB dr into the room (they call him at 7 cm and usually that gives them plenty of time).
I was totally out of it as I gazed in wonder at this child on my chest that had just been in my belly for 9 months. Ben cut the cord. I couldn't really concentrate on breastfeeding (as my plan) as I was still complaining about the OB resident repairs that were going on (that's what I get for all the fast pushing). But it was okay b/c at that point i was so tired that i passed for an hour while they washed the baby and did all the usual tests and shots and stuff with ben supervising.
They transfered us around the corner to mother and baby about an hour after i woke up. Aiden has taken nicely to breastfeeding, so really i have no regrets about my pain management decisions. I am very glad that i didn't end up getting the epidural and am happy with my use of the other drugs. i do feel that it was due not just to the strength of the contractions, but more importantly the speed. Your body can release natural pain relievers in response to contractions if given enough time. So maybe next time I'll do it without any drugs.
I am also really happy with my hospital choice. Everyone was really supportive of whatever decisions i wanted to make while also maintaining a focus on the health of me and the baby. They helped me maintain my focus on no epidural while also focusing on the fact that i did not want the baby to end up in nicu (which would have happened if i had gotten an infection).
Posted by christina at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)
August 28, 2007
hey love
Aiden Steven Harper was born on Sunday, August 26, 2007 at 3:45 pm. He weighed in at 6 lbs 11 ozs. 18.5 inches long. He is healthy and adorable. He definitely is ben's as he has ben's nose. I am well. We go home very soon (today, hopefully before lunch). More details to follow.
Posted by christina at 8:42 AM | Comments (4)
August 25, 2007
'cuse me please / one more drink
On Monday, I went to my regular prenatal appointment. I met a new dr (I'm roating through the group as to have meet the person who would be catching the child). She was funny and warm and due to some eviction signs checked me and found me at 2 cms with the head down. She laughed at my surprise when she said that it would probably be sooner rather then the 2 weeks I had thought. So the wait began and every day was full of watching for signs. I had been cramping off and on since the Saturday. On Wednesday I started getting full balling up of the uterus in a regular 4 min pattern that lasted for 1 minute. We thought that it would be it and Ben wanted to come in. I waited becuase they were not really hurting. I finally decided it was false labor and they went away when we went to bed.
And so I existed in a stage I hated - not being in labor, but always wondering if this was it. but I strongely felt that if this was it I WOULD KNOW.
Saturday morning Ben got up for CPR class and the dog and I fell back to sleep. As I laid in the sunlight I decided that i simply cannot exist anymore soley to wait for this baby to appear. It was driving me crazy. So i decided that I must do something productive. I decided that I should start my long planned t-shirt quilt. I have been planning on doing one since, well, years and years ago. I have two boxes of t-shirts from jr. high, high school, and college that all were too big, but i couldn't bare to part with due to the event association. I had meant to start this project early in the summer when i stopped school, but there was always something else to. I also decided that I would concentrate on not thinking/talking about the baby. I decided that he would come when he was ready and if that was four weeks from now than that would be OKAY. And i decided that i would concentrate on enjoy my last days alone.
i got out and worked out - pushing it a little because there was no reason to reserve my energy. I read up on the internets on t-shirt quits. I made a list for the fabric store. Ben and I hauled my shirts up from the storage unit. I sorted and washed. We played some scrabble and mario. I got to the final boss, but still need to figure out how to kill him. We spent an hour at the fabric store. I was excited as one of the major purchases was 30% off. The frabic store turned out also be a craft store and so got some paper on sale for some announcements. We then headed to an awesome diner that i lunched with mark the rock star on monday. I had a taste for a BLT. We found it closed. We drove to another diner mark had recommended. It was excellent. We came home. Ben watched the Cubs and I cut about half of my t-shirt squares. Not once did I ponder whether this was a sign.
Posted by christina at 9:53 PM | Comments (0)
feel the rain on your face
An interesting op-ed piece from my congressman on earmarks. I have mixed feelings about earmarks. From a political theory point of view, they are an important way to get legislation passed in our system of (pretty much) every legislator for himself. From an efficiency prospective, most are down right wasteful. Why should some district/states benefit more than others just becuase their representative is more powerful and can command more earmarks? In addition, a lot of earmarks bypass mechanisms to make sure the most worthy and needy projects are funded (of course, this implies that the mechanism is objective, which it is not).
so messy.
Posted by christina at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)
August 24, 2007
Maybe he won't find out what I know
Crazy storms rolled through chicago yesterday. Crazy southern thunderstorms. Though I'm use to thunderstorm and tornado warning in Arkansas, it was strange to have the former here. The storm just appeared and was crazy. The wind was crazy. From the news and our drive through our neighborhood this morning, it was really strong as we saw a bunch of down branches and a couple of trees. On the block over, Ben saw a tree that crushed two cars. My car escaped unscathed, it appears.
The worst part about spending so much time in baby-related offices is the people. Some of the waiting rooms are full of children and some children even go back to the exam rooms despite the policy that they aren't suppose to go back.
Posted by christina at 5:25 PM | Comments (0)
August 22, 2007
love song for no one
I have developed an obsession lately. I have surprising obsession to those that really know me. I have an undeniable need to play scrabble. It is part of my desire to do things that are hard for me as to get better. It is nice as i don't care if i win, but that i am spelling good words on the board. I did win one game on vacation, but usually ben beats me. but i am getting better and that makes me happy.
Posted by christina at 2:48 PM | Comments (3)
August 20, 2007
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
This is my beautiful cat, with her bum ear.
We've gotten a lot of rain lately. I love it. I miss the rain. It rains in the south way more than up here. I love waking up in the middle of the night to thunderstorms. Of course, it is better than the waking up in the middle of the night to potty or because my body is preparing eviction notices, both of which kept me up last night. I really hope that I don't have three more weeks of this. But alas, I just breathe and try to enough this small window of my life where I have few things to do besides haul around this baby and keep up with my daily brain age calculations. The game does like to give you a hard time if you miss a couple of days. According to the local news I just saw while working out, some suburbs have gotten a foot of rain this month! Crazy!
One of the restaurants we went to in michigan had a no children under 18 policy. I thought this was interesting and of course had no problem with it after an earlier in the week dinner that had us sitting amongst a ton of kids. But the weird thing was that we got there and sitting close to us outside on the deck was a couple and a kid who was like 7. She was well behaved. Her parents were not as they spent a lot of the meal chain smoking and ignoring the kid. I felt bad for her. The food was excellent though.
I'm off to my 37 weeks appt this morning (crazy). and then to lunch/brunch with a friend from NU, who had no idea i was pregnant. I did warn him via text message when he messaged me that he was in town and wanted to catch up. He was surprised, but said that i shouldn't have told him to I could witness his eyes dropping out of his head when i walked in. I have been with child for sooooo long now it is hard to imagine not being with child, but in reality, it must be very surprising to those that wouldn't know.
I am still getting use to MT 4, but it seems that the best part is an auto-save feature. I hope it will avoid lost posts!
Posted by christina at 8:02 AM | Comments (0)
August 18, 2007
who'll stop the rain
kisses
why does it make my afternoon to smoothly upgrade to MT 4? The entry screen is much different.
We are back from Michigan. It was a good vacation. We had pretty nice weather - nice enough that every day that we were there we sat for a bit on the beach for my favorite vacation activity - a beach chair in the waves with a book. Of course, lake michigan is no ocean, but it was pretty close. We had pretty good waves and no salt or jelly fish or sharp shells. So that was awesome.
We got to see some of ben's friends get married on Saturday in Grand Rapids. We saw some old frat brothers of ben's whose wives we sat in front at the ceremony. They did not know i was pregnant and we got a big jaw drop when i stood up, which is always fun. We had a good time chatting at the reception. We also left earlish b/c much to my dismay, i really couldn't get down on the dance floor. i did make ben dance two non-butt shaking dances with me. And then we left.
In case you were wondering how the drama with the smell ended, the mechanical people decided that it was a gas company problem. ben called the gas company who came out and explained that it was not the gas. According to them, there was a chemical in our air that was oderless until it came into contact with fire (our water heater, the stove, etc) and one of the combustion products smells like lighter fluid. The only solution was to air the building out (the smell was in everyone's apartment).
The main question, of course, is where the chemical came from. That week, the building's outside was sealed, and the most annoying people in the building went on vacation and had their floors redone while they were gone. They had a housesitter, and it was blazing hot that week, so all the windows and doors stayed closed for the air conditioning. The gas man couldn't say which one produced the smell, but did say that only crazy people get their floors redone in august when the building is shut up tight against the heat. The building sealers came out and assured us that it was not their chemicals. I believe them mainly b/c the concentration was so strong on friday. They sealed monday morning. The smell showed up on Wednesday, the day after the first coat of varnish was laid downstairs and the first time we took showers hence making the water heater turn on. B/c the A/C just recycles the air from inside the apt and all the windows and door had been closed, i doubt that the chemicals in the sealing could have become that concentrated in our apartment.
The varnish, on the other hand, was laid in the building with no open doors but to the common hallway. The smells of varnish was pretty strong in the building. The VOCs would have definitely gone further. Of course, the annoying apt occupants tried to say it was the sealers b/c it was really strong in their dryer vent and how the sealers must have sprayed into their dryer vent. The weird thing about this e-mail was that in all of the e-mail no one was assigning blame (we did not included the august floor redoing crazy comment). We were just informing everyone so no one else would spend $400 to have a bunch of people out to figure out what was wrong.
The smell was pretty much gone when we got back into town on monday for a drs appt and an elliptical appt, but on friday it was still going strong in the floor apt - further proof it was the varnish. Besides a total lack of sensitivity for anyone else, I (nor did anyone else) really blame them. There was no way for them to know. The thing that pisses me off is always their response to any of these events. They always try to put the blame on someone else instead of just saying, oh we didn't know. or not saying anything (or calling their floor person to see if this was a problem).
So that is the story of the smell. If i was in my first trimester, i would be pretty pissed as a large amount of VOCs can't be good for a forming baby. But i'm not (thank goodness). and so i'm not worried that much. All i can do it hope that sack is big enough and that the chemicals i unknownly breathed didn't pass the through the placenta filtering system.
In other new, the cat is so happy that we are back she follows me around. she is so cute.
and it is the air and water show this weekend and so we are currently living with a lot of LOUD flighter jet fly bys. They are so cool when we can see them.
off for yummy bbq and the simpsons movie (ben's idea of the "best evening ever" as he announce a bit ago. good to know.)
Posted by christina at 4:19 PM | Comments (1)
August 9, 2007
Looking at you now you would never know
sitting like a person.
crazy dog.
our apartment still smells. and we aren't crazy. we've had two different companies and both of them had smelled it. it appears that the flew is blocked, and something something needs to get downstairs and something something all very suspicious as we had people out her on monday on the roof sealing the building. so hopefully they'll take care of it tomorrow morning.
also on the plate for tomorrow is going to Michigan for vacation so hopefully funny smell won't hurt our kitty.
Posted by christina at 6:23 PM | Comments (0)
August 8, 2007
passing notes
beauty
the days pass quickly and quietly. we do our daily training on the eliptical and brain age. we invest some time in a mario bros game (version 3 for him, version 2 for me). i do a sudoko or two. the dog curls up on our laps all day and spends the evening harassing us and the cat.
we did smell this weird smell coming from the water heater/air conditioner/furnance closet. our favorite company who does this sort of thing was here within 30 minutes to assure us that it was nothing...that if it was something our carbon monoxide detector would be registering something beside 0. the smell was like lighter fluid after it has been lit...the dude said that it was just a temporary block of the exhaust of the water heater. he was right; it did go away a while later.
i finished my natural child birth book - ida may's guide to childbirth. it was good, though must be taken with a grain of salt (though what don't i read without a healthy dose of skepticism?) The book is pretty anti-hospital, but, though updated recently, doesn't really reflect the current attitudes of some hospitals (specifically - my hospital). In the past couple of years, i feel, hospital and OBs have embraced natural child birth techniques. My hospital has alternative birth rooms that allow you to give birth in any position - including the tub. In the regular labor and delivery room you have all the same options, except the tub, plus the option of drugs. The default policy is room-in (they don't take healthy babies to a nursery). It is routine for them to immediately place the baby on the mother's chest, and they encourage you to breastfeed right away. These are all points that ina may says that hospital don't let you do and why you should go to a birth center. the more i read the book, the more happy i became with our choice of hospital. I feel that the progressiveness is important.
I have decided about the epidural - no and yes. I am going to try as long as possible, but if it is a loooooong time, epidural it is. I don't think there is anything wrong with the epidural choice. For me, psychologically speaking, not being able to get up and move is a major problem. so hence the avoiding of the epidural. plus, with the hospital 4 blocks away, i plan on staying here, in our huge tub that never gets used, as long as possible.
but the book is good. i really recommend it, keeping in mind that it is biased. and only if you are not going to let it make you feel bad for choosing an OB (vs midwife) or a hospital (vs birthing center/home birth). Everyone is different and one should make the best choice for you.
that being said, the book gave me a lot of confidence in my body's ability to have this baby. Up until, well, a month or so ago, i truly believed that birth was so painful that drugs is the only way to go. i still believe that birth is painful, but this book gave me the confidence to not be afraid of the pain. it reminded me that my body is meant to give birth and that my fear of pain is always worse than the pain (i.e. the needle stick of drawing blood). it convinced me that giving birth was something to look forward to, not be afraid of. and so we shall try it au natural.
i must admit that i am sure this attitude is partly based in my compulsive desire to do things that hard way just to see if i can do them....
Posted by christina at 6:07 PM | Comments (2)
August 7, 2007
you figured me out
me, this past friday, so 34.5 wks (two weeks since the last pic - i put the wrong caption on that one. you can totally see, if you compare them, that sack has dropped. my lungs thank him. my bladdder, well, doesn't.)
This past week was the last day of pregnancy and beyond class - yay! I'm glad that we took the class because it made ben, who doesn't read much, learn a bunch of stuff that i had read.
But in the process, I was reminded that I still live in an inherently sexist world. This was a class of people I would put in the yuppie category. For some reason - real or imagined, we got the slide of "let dad do it his way" and "different isn't bad". These slides are based on the assumption that all the women are overbearing control freaks. I've also received this message from other places. It really really really makes me mad. In these days of "equality", why is it still the assumption that "mom" is going to do the vast majority of the taking care of the child while dad is just the occasional helper? I know study after study shows that the majority of mothers do the majority of child care, but if this societal norm is to ever change, we have to change the perception first and quite sending mothers signals that they are to be the main care giver.
I complained about it on my evaluation, mainly b/c i was working on my eval when she did the slide. but there were all sorts of small things during the class that supported this idea. I know that biology makes it so i will do all of the feeding the first month, but there are so many other things that I fully expect ben to do and that ben wants to do.
I know it is about who you marry. I married someone who I know would be fully involved in the raising of children and pets. and the cleaning of the house. and the doing of the errands. I married someone who is my partner and even though i currently lay around a bunch, i have not turned into judy mchousewife nor did ben expect/want me to. We still do the things we do when we were both busy (i cook and do laundry, ben cleans - trash, dishes, the pets, up after me as i like to leave a trial of dirty dishes and trash everywhere).
i'm also weary of things that depersonalize the birth process - including calling me the generic "mom" while in the hospital. I will be making a sign for my door that requests that people address me as christina.
unless i am your mom, you should not call me mom. for some reason this really bothers me when people do this. i know that it is from some deep seeded fear of losing my identity in motherhood. and though i know, with me, this would impossible, i would like to strive to remain that individualism - i am not just another "mom" giving birth in the hospital, but christina who is giving birth in the hospital. and i know this all comes from my weariness that all people see (and want to talk about) is the coming attraction. i am actually not tired of being pregnant. i enjoy feeling the baby move. to me honest, most of the time i forget, especailly if i am up and doing things. the sack of organs is getting big and running out of room, so he doesn't move as much as he did. and when i am up and around i don't notice the kicks. i forget as the body in my mind doesn't include the big tummy. i am always surprised when i catch my reflection in a window. i am lucky lucky (and active) and so have had no of the common pregnancy complaints that would make me want to just have this baby already. i do pee a lot. i tire easily, but other than that, i have no complaints about being pregnant.
but i do have that feeling. i want to have this baby already so it quits being all about the baby. that people quit talking to me about the pregnancy. i guess people then just want to talk about the child, but at least it isn't about me. it is about the child. and then only if they know i have a child. currently there is a big sign on me and that is all people see. and want to talk about. instead of making small talk about the weather, people ask if it is going to be a boy. and then expect me to want to know how they knew (dude, it is a 50/50 guess!). they ask if we have a name (like we would tell the cashier at the random store). they ask when i am due. I know that people are just trying to be nice, but i would rather talk about the weather....or better yet how the state legislature is stuck in a budget battle and how can't they just pass that all ready?
(side note on the boy guesses- the guess have been coming only since he dropped, so i started (i guess) carrying him lower. and hence all the boy guesses i think )
Posted by christina at 4:49 PM | Comments (0)
August 5, 2007
do do do do-dodo
ben and i passed the 14 month old test yesterday. We babysat the little boy that my sister is babysitting for while his parents were out of town. he was really cute. and really good. he took a long nap. and then just loved to play. he put up with our CRAZY dog really well, and even petted the kitty on the head. it was really cute. ben did most of the lifting, as the kid was pretty big and out of the weight range i am really suppose to be picking up.
other than that, we have just been enjoying being on vacation at home. we sleep late. then we work out. we eat. we run an errand or two. then we sit on the couch. it is nice. i have focused on just enjoying this time of peace and quiet and calm. no stresses. nothing to do. we are doing little things around the house - like replacing the toilet seats. and we have bought ourselves a new toy.
we've been talking about getting a nintendo ds since the beginning of the year. i've been wanting it to pay brain age. ben almost got it for me for my birthday, but didn't as he knew i would be annoyed at the price tag. I've been selling some stuff on e-bay lately and so we started talking about getting one off there. after a couple days of watching options, i found that the ds were running ~$80 + shipping. The internets told me that we could get a used ds from a store near our place for $80 that came with a 30 days guarantee. so we decided to do that. and so we did. we got the ds for $80 then also got the $10 replacement plan.
we got brain age and the sims. one of the other reason we wanted the nintendo was to get the old-school mario games. they didn't make a ds version, so we got mario 64, used. it wasn't good, and since it was used we could and did take it back.
we found out that the 3 marios we wanted were on game boy advance. and then we found out that you can play the game boy advanced games on the ds. and today we got those. they are awesome. except that we have to take turns. but once the baseball game starts it is all mine. I've already played #2 for a while, and it is amazing the crap that come back to you. i remember all the short cuts and secrets. it has been at least 15 years since i was obsessed with mario 2. crazy.
Posted by christina at 5:39 PM | Comments (1)
August 1, 2007
life gets in the way
i love her
so, i don't know how people survive bed rest. I'm been trying to laying on the couch all day on recommendation of my doctor just for some discomfort i've been having. I am fine (and not near pre-term labor), but they just wanted me to "take it easy". so no working out for me today, and that was pretty much a major annoyance.
oh well. i like my morning workouts. they make me feel less like a bump on the log. but today it is my job to be a bump on the log as much as possible. but it is driving me crazy and i've only been at it for 4 hours. i can't imagine what it would be like to be on actual bed rest.
everyone fully expects that i will be able to work out tomorrow. and go to target and have lunch with the boy whose last day of summer school was today. to say that he is excited is an understatement. he has about 20 days off until he starts the fall term.
there are really stupid things on the tv. really stupid people. though my book (the heart is a lonely hunter) is quite good. so i just read. and try not to each a million chocolate chip cookies.
i got another massage yesterday. it was much appreciated b/c my neck has been bothering me a ton. she spent a lot of time on the muscle. it helped a lot, but the soreness is back today. i think it is from how i sit nowdays.
Posted by christina at 3:51 PM | Comments (0)