« December 2005 | Main | February 2006 »
January 30, 2006
when i was down on the road / with the wind when it blowed
When I went to Japan, I was replacing a guy who could not go. He did not tell me why he could not go when he asked me if I wanted to go. I just knew he could not go any more.
On the trip, I discovered the reason. He was to be on Beauty and the Geek (a reality tv show). It might have been taping during the time when he was to be in Japan, and therefore pulled out of the Japan trip. I found it quite amusing that he declined a chance to go to Japan to be on Beauty and the Geek.
I did not really think about it again until it premiered a couple weeks ago. Due to the Chicago representation, it got some press. He was given the first two episodes as promotional tools. He happened to be scheduled to present during our weekly seminar on the day of the second episode. He elected to show, after a shorter than normal presentation, the first episode.
I left.
More because it was a waste of my time. I have a million things to do, and not enough time, and would rather be getting my stuff done then watching anything.
The more I thought about it, though, the more upset I became as I watch his research presentation. I looked around at the make-up of the room. Three were two other women in a room of 30. The more I thought about the show, the more uncomfortable I felt. How was it acceptable to show a TV show that objectifies women? The whole show concept is demoralizing to women. The women are selected for their beauty; the men for the brains. It saddens me that we still live in a society that reinforces this stereotype. It is demonstrative that we feel like it is an acceptable thing to reinforce this stereotype in an environment that is historically unwelcoming to women. Do the students and the professors at this meeting (my advisor was not in attendance) feel this way about women? That they are valued for their beauty over brains? Do they feel like this is an acceptable way to view women?
I’ve never been that big on “political correctness”. I’ve never found myself in this uncomfortable position until this point. I didn’t not care enough to speak up. I just left.
I have to be honest and say, yes, that message made me feel like I am "less than" because I am not a “beauty” (beauty being defined and small wasted large chested women, which are the kind of women I saw in the commercials for the show). On this show, these women are valued for their beauty, not their brains. This was a show being shown in my workplace. In the workplace, especially a science and engineering ph.d program, I should feel that women are valued for their work, not valued for their beauty. I did not feel this way. This is why we have rules. You might not understand them. Heck, even I make fun of them, but there are there for a reason – to prevent this.
I presented this past week. I did a great job. I do great work, especially compared to other people in the program. I know that I am valuable, as everyone in in their own way, even those girls on tv. Here, though, everyone should feel valued for their work, not unvalued for their unbeauty.
Posted by christina at 6:12 PM | Comments (3)
January 25, 2006
eight miles high and falling fast
I pretty much watched the west wing since the first second, therefore am a tad bittersweet with its ending. I have to admit that I am not surprised. The storyline have gotten more and more out there. I have enjoyed Jimmy Smit’s character and plotline this season. I am happy, in a way, to see it go, as it had been starting to annoy me with its random plot lines. For example, this past week was a nuclear reactor incident. I’m just going to say that a pipe that normally carries hot water is not going to crack if it is used to carry cold water (which was the reason why they had to send the second team in). Pipes crack in cold weather due to water expansion due to freezing (one of the only (if not the only) material that expands upon freezing). They would not crack if water was flowing through them, stupid tv writers. This, of course, is why if it is really really cold outside and your pipes are not insulated correctly, you should leave the water running a little – to prevent freezing of the water.
The nuclear energy topic brought up in the show, is most interesting to me. I am pro-nuclear power. I think it is a clean way to produce energy. Way more people die in oil rig accidents, refinery accidents, and coal mines, and from asthma and lung disease from air pollution, than who die in the generation of nuclear power. Yes, there are long-term issues with the storage of nuclear waste. There are also long term issues with the air pollution causing global warming and mercury contamination of fish, and with the environmental destruction caused by removing oil and coal from the ground. Solar cells are really dirty to make (I’ve read somewhere it take 50 years to recoup the energy – both in power and raw materials – used in the manufacturing of solar cells).
Of course, I am for reducing our energy consumption as our top priority. It is what my research revolves around. I am not specifically for nuclear power. I would like to see alternative energies flourish. I am for a logical acceptance of risk. People assume the risk of coal and oil production every time they breathe in. They have always known this risk. Nuclear power is the scary, unknown risk. Nuclear power is safe. We have not had an incident in a long time. Of course, the question people always ask to people who support nuclear energy is would you raise your kids by a power plant. Yes. I would. People get way more radiation from the sun (especially if they tan) or naturally occurring radon from the ground than from a well run nuclear plant. Of course, there needs to be safety inspections. The government needs to support existing regulations. As illustrated by the mining disasters, regulations exist, but they must enforced with teeth. If an accident happens, well, accident happens. It is WAY more dangerous to get into a car than to live by a nuclear power plant.
Nuclear energy can be safer and cleaner than coal and oil. Research into long term fuel storage must be supported to enhance the long term safety fuel storage. People need to learn about risks. We are killing ourselves with CO2, obesity, and cars quicker than anyone is willing to admit.
Posted by christina at 2:00 PM | Comments (4)
January 22, 2006
in light speed the images are fading / and how I need you around
It snowed Friday evening. The weather service issued a winter weather warning and i got all nervous about driving home in a snow storm (as it sucked last time) and canceled my usual friday night plans with tom. It turned out to not snow that much in the area I frequent. Thankfully. And the sun did a whole lot of melting it during the day.
Due to the fresh ice/snow (as the storm started as rain and then turned to snow), I decided to replace my run with a pliates on demand session. Besides feel re-dic-u-lous in front of porch boy, it wasn't that hard. My abs strength sucks (run doesn't do a lot for the strong abs gaol). There were some moves I couldn't physically do, but all in all I didn't really feel the work out.
Ha ha ha. The abs, they are sneaky. This morning I was a little sore, but it was the feeling good sore. I did my usual 5 miles. Life was good. About 2 hours after my run, all of my abs are so sore. It hurts to laugh, cough, get up from the couch. I have porch boy help me up. It is crazy. It has also made me feel ill, but I think I am just wimpy. On one hand, I think, no way in hell I am doing that again, this hurts way too much. On the other hand, I think , dude, i must have been WEAK to be in this much pain. It won't be so painful next time.
The main impediment to a routine change is my attachment to the 5 mile run(jog). I don't have time in the morning to do both. I might cut a mile and then do a short pilates. We'll see. It was nice to workout in my living room, even though the cat was all confused that i moved her box village and the coffee table.
Posted by christina at 5:36 PM | Comments (1)
January 19, 2006
helter skelter in a summer swelter
so many details in my life are awesome, starting with the weather. He who orders the weather must really love me. The weather has been amazing lately. It has been warm. The sun has shone. It continues to be awesome.
Tuesday, on the way home, American Pie (the song) came on. Not just did my favorite song from my childhood fill my car, but it was the awesome 6 versus version, not the wimpy 3 versus version. The song reminds me of day of camp - both regular and canoe. Boy, do I love canoe camp. Some of my best memories are from canoe camp. To this day, any moment can be awesome if I am reminded of canoe camp. We would sing American Pie around the campfire. Dude. I love camp.
Posted by christina at 5:34 PM | Comments (0)
January 17, 2006
paint it black as night
man harassing cat. tyroid pill giving. insert "swallow! swallow!" into soundtrack as the cat purrs because she knows she's about to get food.
It has been really interesting to see how the debate about the researcher and the stem cells has fallen out. On one hand, I’ve been rooting for the advancement of science. On the other hand, the results were just too clean. People wanted too badly for it to be true. The situation hits home one major issue that plagues most research groups – who gets their name on a paper. I doesn’t surprise me that that research turned out to be wrong. As this article points out, lots of research turns out to be innocently wrong – machines are wrong, observations are wrong, this is just how science works. Of course, it has come out that Dr. Hwang lied his ass off. This does not surprise me either. For fame and fortune, people will do a lot of things (bomb countries, etc). What surprises me the most is the Prof. from Pennsylvania who put his name on the paper without ever seeing an experiment performed or contributing the project in any meaningful way.
The business of authors of papers is a sticky one in science. Each group has its own traditions for it. I would never have my name put on a paper in which I did not participate meaningfully in the experiments. The only paper my name is on that I did not write myself, is one for a mech eng co-worker, in which I made the samples he tested. Without me, no samples, no test, no paper. I worked with him, saw him performing the experiments, and stand behind his work, and therefore the paper – whether his conclusions are correct or incorrect.
There are certain groups at my university who put a million people as authors. I don’t really understand this tradition. I understand wanting to have more publications for your list, but by putting your name on a paper you are taking responsibility for what is in that paper. This is the point the penn professor didn’t understand. Once it started to come out that the Hwang data was false, he want to pull his name from the paper. I think the whole paper was retracted before Science decided if they were going to allow this or not. It brings up the point that you should not put your name on a paper unless you are willing to stand behind the failure (or success) of the conclusions.
I know that one of the major things missing from science and engineering curriculums (especially on the graduate level where you are performing research) is ethics classes. My department every year as talked about having a seminar on this topic, but it has yet to materialize. I don’t think for lack of interest, but for lack of speakers. There is a real need for ethics discussions and leaders in science and engineering, as illustrated by the Hwang debacle. I’ve put in on my life list to do something about.
Posted by christina at 11:52 AM | Comments (1)
January 12, 2006
getting caught in the rain
courtney, my bf from high school, and her puppy ellie.
I’m really not all about the new year’s resolutions. Ha ha. Of course I am, I just don’t tell anyone. After this morning, though one of my resolutions is to drive even slower than my normal grandma slow.
I have been lurking on a random chick’s blog for a bit now. I’ve been reading ever since she was diagnosed with leukemia. She’s around my age. She is pretty amazing. Reading about her treatment and struggles reminds me that though I can be annoyed at stupid people running into the back of my car, I just need to let it go. She has written some amazing things about forgiveness and letting things go.
She has motivated me to start giving blood again. I’m always be a proponent, but since my fainting spell last Christmas eve, I haven’t given. After reading her entry today about how blood transfusions are keeping her alive, I called and made an appointment to give blood Monday after work. My new year’s resolution is to keep on giving, as often as I can after that.
I challenge you that can, do.
Oh! This chick lives in Houston, so all you Houstonites could actually give her blood! Or at least blood in her name at MD Anderson, where she is being treated.
But really, just give blood.
Posted by christina at 3:15 PM | Comments (0)
say you would, say you could / say you'd come and stop the rain
This morning, I was having a nice drive to work, enjoying the rare sunshine and blue skies. Traffic was light. I'm driving up a street at the speed limit of 30 (actually i was going 32, but shhh don’t tell anyone) in Evanston. There is really no other traffic around except for the women riding my tail. I ignore her as I put my cruise control on. I get to a light where you can only turn right (that how the street goes). It is red. I stop, then move up a little to see around the parked cars to see if I can turn right on red. I see that I cannot as a car is coming, so I stop and tailer chick runs right into the back of me. I am so annoyed. I make her follow me around the corner, where we exchange information - name, phone, and license plate #. There is no damage, so I don't call the police. I just tell her that (1) she doesn't need to tail people at all, much less people going the speed limit and (2) that she needs to watch. The light was RED.
And of course, I'm stressing out over the event - i.e. should I have called the police? (No, cuz the damage would be under $500 and there was no contesting whose fault it was.) Though, according to the back of my insurance card, I did the right thing...except that I am not going to call them. There is no damage, my trunk is fine. I feel like I get much worse bumps from people paralleling around me on the street. Some day, I remind myself, living in this crazy town, some is going to hit me hard enough and I'm going to have to get it replaced.
This is after Tuesday morning in which two exceptionally crazy drivers freaked me out. One passed me on a double yellow curve. It was stupid. People do insane stuff like that all the time. I just let them be, until they hit me. Where are these people in such a hurry to? Don’t they understand that in general speeding is going to save you like 2 minutes – which is way less that you are going to spend with the police officer. I am less afraid of getting a ticket and way more afraid of hitting a pedestrian or a biker. There are a lot of bodies on the streets of Chicago. I follow speed limits and traffic laws in hopes of not hurting on of these people. I would feel horrible if I hurt someone and it was their fault. It think it was destroy me to hurt someone and it be my fault.
Posted by christina at 10:06 AM | Comments (0)
January 10, 2006
like it was written in my soul from me to you / tangled up in blue
The Supreme Court confirmation hearings have taken over NPR. I heard the very beginning of them as I got ready this morning. Of course, the first discussion point was abortion and precedent. I wonder how different the debate would be if men were the ones who got pregnant. I also think it would be a different debate if women were not discriminated against when they get pregnant in the workplace. Getting pregnant really does mess up a women's immediate plans, as it does not have to have the same disruption in a man's plans.
Anyone who doesn't think that this is a bias against women (and minorities) just needs to look at the make-up of congress, of the supreme court.
Posted by christina at 3:54 PM | Comments (0)
January 9, 2006
what you got in the box / only Gracie knows
During my morning jogs, I think about pretty much everything to take my mind off the fact that I am running. At least once a month, I ponder how fitness and good health is a privilege of the well off. I use to think of it weekly, when I ran in my old neighborhood. I would pass women on their way to work that appeared to not be in good health. I knew though that they were poor and probably single moms who couldn't afford to even put fresh veggies on the table, much less find time to exercise for 30 mins a day.
This morning I pondered how skinny meredith grey is in grey’s anatomy and how toned I would be if it was my job. It is interesting to me how preferred body shape has changed over history. Of course, hundreds of years ago, a plump figure showed that you had enough to eat and did not have to work in the fields. This was, of course, the preferred way of life. Now, it seems at least from the media, that super skinning is preferred. I would bet that the actress that plays Meredith is technically underweight. The same goes for Courtney Cox, especially her. Courtney started Friends at a normal weight and ended it looking anorexic. It is sad.
The Times has a story about diabetes today. It is long, but quite interesting. My father has Type 2 diabetes. I am genetically predisposed to Type 2 diabetes. I am convinced that I must be very careful to avoid it, especially because developing diabetics during pregnancy can happen and is not good for the child.
So, this new year’s, I’m trying to cut down on refined carbohydrates (white sugar, white flour, white rice). Dark chocolate is my treat of choice, and good dark chocolate can be good for you.
Posted by christina at 12:21 PM | Comments (2)
January 8, 2006
...
Posted by christina at 3:04 PM | Comments (0)
January 5, 2006
and they way that summer fades / underneath the weight of it all
For a moment, the sun peeked its head out this morning on my way to work. I cannot remember the last day of sunshine. It had to at least be in Arkansas. In the winter, here, the clouds mean warmth, so I don’t depised them so much. It is nice not to freeze my bum off during my morning jog. The cold rains have reminded me of winter in the south, where gloves and scarves are fashion accessories and not barriers against frostbite.
I cannot separate my general feeling of blah from the lack of sun or just this moment in time. It is the beginning of an exciting year, and unfortunately, I feel more apprehensive than usual…not about anything new, just the usual, am I doing everything right? Should I be doing something more? How can I fix everything for everyone?
I much prefer dealing with woes myself than having other people deal with woes. I want to take those people’s woes and make it better. This is why I cried and cried at King Kong. It made me so sad that he was so helpless and so hurt. Hurt animals always make me cry because they can’t fix things themselves. It is the same thing with people who can’t help their situation – the sick, the poor, the old. I feel too much.
It reminds me of Secret Life of Bee (title corrected by christopher) by Sue Monk Kidd. There was a character in it who “overfelt”. She couldn’t handle the sadness in the world and her inability to make things better. Her family tried to isolate her from other’s sufferings. When they were ultimately unable, she committed suicide over the wrongful imprisonment of a friend.
Not that I would ever reach that point (I am too much of a problem-solver), but I do identify with that character somewhat.
Posted by christina at 3:09 PM | Comments (1)
January 3, 2006
weight of it all
A baby came to visit while I was in hot springs. She was quite cute. She cried when I held her; I’m just not practiced at the baby holding. I cannot remember when I last held a baby, if I have ever held a baby only 3 months old.
I’m been browsing around looking at random policy jobs (you know, it is never too early to start looking). I found that to work on certain committees in Congress you have to be “Republican or Republican leaning”. I’m pretty sure I blew the chance of even trying to pass as republican leaning with my guns are bad editorial in college. A simple google will find that article. I was a tad horrified that there was a political requirement for a job on the science subcommittee. I was relieved to find out that there is a democratic science subcommittee and I’m sure that they won’t mind my left leaning tendencies.
It is the first day of winter quarter around here. I was quite surprised to find little traffic on the way to work today and parking spaces in my favorite parking lot. Usually when class is in session, that lots fills up way before my 9 am arrival time.
And thus begins the start of Jan, pretty much the most annoying month. Though the weather is warm, so I am not that annoyed right now.
This is the year I will graduate.
Stay Tuned.
Posted by christina at 3:57 PM | Comments (3)
January 2, 2006
life flies by in seconds
chloe on a box.
It has even been estimated that one in 10 Europeans are conceived in an Ikea bed.
the things you learn from the internet.
Posted by christina at 2:19 PM | Comments (0)
January 1, 2006
Come on! Feel the Illinoise!
What’s this? Cardboard? Tape? Both things I love love love.
Happy New Year!
This new years dawns grey outside, but warm. (Warm being mid 40s.) Crazy warm. Running is so much better when it is above 20 above.
I found the best mixing bowls. One of the sisters got a set for Christmas. I saw that they were on sale on the website, and then found them at the crate and barrel by school. Conveniently, I had to spend an hour at work yesterday. This holiday, I just can’t justify taking off. I did leave early on Friday to drive out to Naperville to see liz. (LIZ! I love liz!) The weather was nasty, and traffic was narly, and I drove on every (seriously like 5) tollways/expressways getting there. If I had look at the direction before I left work, I would have went another way, but so it goes.
Last night, though I do hate new’s year eve, was quite fun. It is funny to see everyone, I haven’t seen ben’s friends in ages. I adore his old roommate’s new girlfriend. Yay for cool chicks! It was a perfect size party – 30(?). And I didn’t loose my toes to frost bit (I wore sandels) because it is not stinking freezing outside. Love it.
Posted by christina at 4:09 PM | Comments (0)