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November 29, 2004
the winter's so cold summer's over too soon
funny....i only wish that i had becca's problems of trying to fill 40 hours a week...
Though i must say that with the passing of the qualifier i did take a much needed break. Liz came into town. We hung out, saw Being Julia (quite good), laid around and read, and went out with my classmates for a post qual celebration. Liz comes in to chicago for the whole week of thanksgiving and spends 2 nights with me. It was the perfect relaxation.
i hope that everyone had a good thanksgiving. for the second year in a row, i spent it at ben's parents with all of his dad's siblings + their fams...something like 20 people. I, of course, enjoyed it. This year was better becuase i am so much more relaxed both with his family and in their house. I read and did crossword puzzles and talked with various family members...especially his mom. no trip to the ER this year, even though we did get two inches of snow wednesday and so the yard was icey and slipperly thrusday afternoon. (the ice also made running suck thrusday morning as the only non-iced place was up this major road that i hate to run on the sidewalk up, much less up the middle of the street as the ice necessitated.) it was so nice to lay around and not think about work.
which pretty much the theme for the whole weekend. of course, i thought about work, i have this whole new theory about why my films behave the way they do. it conflicts with my advisor's so now i am looking up a whole bunch of stuff on fluorinated polymers. All i really need to know is the exact physics behind why telfon is hydrophobic. it is amazing how hard this information is to find.
ben and i laid around, read (well I read), played madden (well ben played madden), watch tv and movie, and cooked friday-sunday. we tried some new recipes, including these yummy crab cakes from trader joe's. the cat got really sick yesterday, so we spent some time trying to figure out why she was acting so wierd. then figuring it out when she started throwing up. poor kitty. she seemed to be much better in the afternoon, laying with us on the couch. we are quite the picture. me reading. ben watching football or something. the cat getting her tummy rubbed. though i should mention that she gets a lot more attention when i am not around and i make ben rub my head instead of her's. yes. i am jealous of my cat. i am never going to be able to have kids. : )
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Posted by christina at 3:53 PM | Comments (0)
November 24, 2004
perfect kind of day
“Let’s get to the important part...how did they like the pants?”
The boyfriend, upon hearing my recount of how well my qualifier went, about the pants he picked out at H&M.
So the hmmmm, last, hoop has been cleared. I am an official PhD candidate. I worked hard and stressed a fair amount. The thought the two hour presentation was just going to suck, but everything would turn out okay. Well, turns out that the presentation went well, I enjoyed myself and answered all the questions. And got some great suggestions, which is really the nice thing about our qualifier. It is a research proposal + preliminary results plus a presentation in front of the 4 people that will sit on my thesis defense committee. You present and get good feedback and suggestions about things. It is way better (and more efficient and applicable) than a comprehensive qualifying exam. Those kinds of exams don’t make any sense for engineering graduate school.
So I am so happy. And Ben is so happy that I’ve ceased to be a stress ball. It is a noticeable difference. Though he was really amazing the evening before my qual. I was quite stressed and he made me stop studying, drew me a bath in the Jacuzzi bathtub, complete with bubble bath and surrounded by candle. Though he did make the temperate BOILING, it was really really sweet. I have the best boyfriend.
This makes me quite angry. WHY are we trying to legislate morality? More importantly, why are they being so sneaky about it. If it was truly something America wanted, than they wouldn’t have to sneak it on appropriation bills.
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Posted by christina at 4:41 PM | Comments (0)
November 10, 2004
Voting Without the Facts
seriously what i have always said is wrong with the american public.
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Posted by christina at 1:34 PM | Comments (0)
November 8, 2004
my baby takes the morning train
I am so tired of work that I am actually looking forward to my conference last week. Aneihem, CA for a week. I present the first day. Good and bad. I think Tuesday is perfect. Though I’m not that worried. Though of course I shall miss the boyfriend. Blah. I know. He’s so cute though. I can’t help it. Though if I could install some extra RAM in his brain, things would run a lot smoother. So it goes. I should’ve known…
I am so happy with the gallery. I keep admiring. It also causes me to miss the blue hat I have on in the san fran pictures. I dropped it on the way to a cubs game. Very sad. Ben replaced it with a cubs floppy hat, but I really liked the fray on that floppy hat. The good news is that I got it from old navy and they have a tendency to bring things back, so I might be able to find it again next spring. (maybe even spring break with a visit visit to san fran.)
I saw the incredibles with tom this weekend. Very good. Well worth the hour wait (as the first showing was sold out) in borders chatting and laughing. I really enjoy tom and I’s weekly date. I can bitch about my research/grad school to him and he completely understands. Ben gives me lot of sympathy, but leta and tom are the best because they understand. They understand how frustrating grad school is, the push and pull between commitments, the strange temporal and permanent feeling of this experience, the lack of defined expectation and the expectations that appear out of no where.
Ben and I went shopping Sunday. There is an H&M now in the loop. I was looking for a business suit type thing for my qualifier. I wanted to try H&M, especially now that there is one in the loop, and not just the one on michigan ave, which is always a mad house. I was quite happy that the H&M wasn’t that busy. Ben had way more opinions than I neither expected nor really desired. My major problem is that I am in love with this business suit dress/jacket thing I already have. I have never worn it and now it is too big. So I was basically looking for a replacement. Ben broke my love affair and convinced me into a pant suit thingy. It is really nice. I am quite happy. And I love H&M. They have nice stuff at reasonable prices. It is also right across the street from the flagship old navy, so we did a little shopping there. Well, ben did some 6 shirts of shopping. I got a scraf and gloves. I also got a pair at H&M. Can’t have too many pairs of gloves. It is fast approaching that time of year, even though the weather has been beautiful this weekend. Blue skies. 50s. Sunday it was warm enough during my run that I was down to shorts and a sports bra.
I love living in the city. I love hopping on the el and jaunting downtown for a tad of shopping.
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Posted by christina at 1:36 PM | Comments (0)
November 5, 2004
the bridges that I walk across are weak / frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear.
sigh.
My co-advisor seriously drives me crazy. She is only technically my co-advisor. I never meet with her nor talk to her about my research. Basically she just orders me around. She doesn't ask me to do stuff, she tells me to do stuff. She does not give me any information. For example, I get an e-mail from her late yesterday asking me to do a presentation on smaller project I work on. I ask her what does the presentation need to consist of, how long, when, etc? She just writes back 12 minutes. I write her backing asking when. Turns out it is on monday. I ask when on monday because i have a doctor's appt that afternoon that i can't change at this late date and tell her it is from 1-2:30. She writes back just attaching the list of the presenations with NO times. I write her back. when on monday. she write back, just now, that either 2:15 or 3:30. So i had to write her back reminding her of my appointment and saying it will have to be at 3:30. it is SO frustrating.
Good thing i've had a lot of down time today as i just cajoling the friction tester into working. I've already bounced my qual back to my advisor for second part editing. it was originally too long ("you're the only person i know in school that uses smaller type and spacing to fit more text into the requirement" ben comments.) For the record, yes i did use 11 pt font, but i was under the 20 pgs of text mark. drastic cuts later, i'm at the requested 12 pt. and 14 pgs of text.
wednesday night, i asked ben if he would still love me if i dropped out of grad school. he said, if it was possible, more. i said i could be happy staying home and raising the kiddie and painting my toenails and baking. he said that i would enjoy it more than i think. don't tempt me. seriously. when grad school goes into what i term to myself the polishing aspects (ie, like you are polishing a rock, it hurts, but it makes you a better person), i always ask myself why i am doing this. cuz i can. though everyday i get more convince that i am not going to go straight into a post doc. that i might take some time off. have some kiddies, volunteer at an environmental agency. then do a post doc in policy. or do the post doc and then take the time off. that is probably what will happen. not real sure. so confusing. i have no idea how life is going to turn out, but so far everything has worked out, even that whole breaking my neck thing. i just have to have faith...to let go.
i've gotten a touch obsessive compulsive, which is currently manifesting itself in forever wondering if i locked my car or left the window down. seriously. i am always wondering, especially if something important is in there. feeling a touch out of control of the damn friction tester is manifesting itself in my damn car.
i saw motorcycle diaries with marina last night. it was quite good. i definitely recommend it.
tonight off for dinner and the incredibles with tom. he is so cutely excited about this movie. it is awesome. i like to drag him to artsy movies, so it is nice to see something he really wants to see.
then i am totally not doing any work tomorrow...maybe the entire weekend with the exception of grading some homeworkage. i need a break. today i am really feeling these past couple of weeks. (esp because i came up and worked 3 hours sunday afternoon. i usually do work sunday afternoon, but at ben's.) i might get some shopping in. i need a business suit outfit for my qualifier. i have the perfect suit hanging in my closet, but it is too big. it is so perfect. i'm trying to figure out what i can do to make it fit. hmmm. i wonder if the washing and drying on high heat will shrink it in a way so that it still looks good. i guess it is worth a shot because it currently looks like a sack on me. i keep telling myself that i should get down to h & m more than once a year.
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Posted by christina at 5:42 PM | Comments (0)
Two Nations Under God
Two Nations Under God
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Posted by christina at 9:56 AM | Comments (0)
November 4, 2004
and we'll all float on ok
somehow after one of my most hopeless days, a perfect night was made.
after speed cookie making where we had to walk to leta's to borrow some eggs, and then my 9-10:30 meeting with me advisor about editing my qualifier (he was just in town for the evening before leaving for hong kong today), and a small crisis with one of ben's friends, i fell in love just a little bit more.
something about the rain on the roof, jazz playing on the stereo, and two people in love, made all the worries of the day float away.
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Posted by christina at 6:16 PM | Comments (0)
November 3, 2004
new slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
i'm not surprised, but i am saddened
spoken by a kerry supporter from ohio on npr this morning.
have you actually really thought about what is going to happen if bush wins
question posed by ben last night as i cooked dinner for us and watched the election returns.
i try not to
i admit it. i didn't think it was possible for bush to win. he didn't win last time and he's pissed more people off in the past four years.
i'm not sure what happened. i've been aware of the closeness of this race. but i really believed that when it all came out in the wash that kerry would win. i just can't accept that i live in a country that the majority (though small) think that bush has more moral standing than kerry. (according to npr, most voters who voted for bush cited his moral uprightousness.)
let's just review about bush
- many incidences of drunk driving. seriously people. drink all you want. i know that alcoholism is a disease, but there is no excuse in the world for driving drunk
- cocaine habit
- believes that God has called him to be president. now i am pretty spiritual, but i disagree so strongly with religion becoming part of politics. the problem is that the majority of Americans are wasp and therefore like that they have a wasp president. how would they feel if bush suddenly found the koran and believe that Mohammed had called him to do whatever. Then people will regret letting religion be part of the politic process.
- how can you be christian and be a republican? i battle with this question everyday in relation to my family and my friends. Jesus's number one commandment say to love your neighbor as yourself. (number two, love your God.) These are the greatest commandments. How people translate this into hating muslins, invading country against the world's wishes, hating gay people, is beyond me. How can so many people support constitutional amendments banning gay marriage? As ben said last night, if i were gay, my feelings would be hurt. Seriously. This IS NOT loving your neighbor. So many people don't have health insurance, enough money to eat, access to education... how is this loving your neighbor?
- bush has a horrible environmental record. His EPA director resigned in protest of his horrible environmental policies. if you are a christian, you are suppose to be a good steward of the gifts that God has given you. How is cutting down trees and ruining old growth forest being a good steward? How is reducing restriction on pollution for industries being a good steward?
- bush lied lied lied about his military history.
- kerry fought fought fought in his. i don't care if the swift boat veterans are right or wrong, the fact is that kerry went over there and fought! bush skipped military training.
maybe i should have posted this yesterday. but the only dirty republicans i know vote are in georgia which elected bush by 60% of the vote.
i was just living in a dream world. i am that optimistic. today i am hopeless. at least for the last 4 years i could always blame it on bush stealing the election. but this time he got more the 50% of the popular vote. That is enough for me. i always asserted that Gore won because he won the popular vote. i must concede to bush. the fact that he one makes me hopeless in this country. That this is a country of undereducated, cult people that are single issue voters and the single issue is their religion. The southern middle class is doing worse economically under bush and they still elected him because he is more "moral" than Kerry.
Ben and I have already picked out Lucerne, Switzerland for our destination for movement one we're done with school. (though he keeps saying sooner...that i can just take all my deposition equipment with me. ha ha ha.)
But we won't move. and i won't remain hopeless. Obama won and that is hope enough to get me through. I am optimistic and just hope that my generation will make a difference. In 2 or so years, i'll have more time to really get involved with someone's campaign, do some good, change a couple of minds. Put my optimism to work, for as Jesus did say love your neighbor and helping the poor with work and health insurance will always fall into the category of helping your neighbor.
Good luck Mr. Obama. You are my hope for the future.
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Posted by christina at 5:44 PM | Comments (0)
November 2, 2004
sooooooo funny
Today's Dilbert
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Posted by christina at 4:23 PM | Comments (0)
wrap em up and take em with you
vote.
seriously.
though the majority of the people that i know have voted by now.
i voted absentee in Arkansas...which is a swing state with not a lot of weight.
i voted against the constructional amendment banning gay marriage. i hope you did to. i don't even want to start that rant again. sigh.
tired.
of my friction tester being so hard to work with. for two days now none of the usual tricks have isolated the usual problem. i can usually work around it, but over the past 48 hours i have had no luck.
it must be mad that i left it alone for 2 weeks while i wrote my qualifier.
i left everyone alone for 2 weeks while i wrote my qualifier. except my hot boyfriend. he is an excellent writing break. though not so helpful with the anti distractions as he watched the fugitive one afternoon. SPORTS! i told him. they do not distract me. interesting movies with harrison ford do.
baseball is over!
my relationship barely made it. i think during playoffs next year, i will have to take a vacation or something. i'm not sure that i could survive that again.
the qualifier is written. it is in the editing stages in my advisor's hands. it goes to my committee members next week. i go to CA the week after. i defend it the monday i get back. strange that in the in two years i repeat this with a lot more writing and a phd at the end.
really annoyed with the friction tester. par for course, but usually it isn't this large of a pain in my ass.
had a great halloween. celebrated it some at a party friday night, but mostly handing out candy to kiddie at the harper's house. there was a flat stanley! liz is going to love that.
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Posted by christina at 2:05 PM | Comments (0)