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February 26, 2004
there's never a wish better than this / when you only got 100 years to live
omg, it is like you are getting a million entries this week. It will make up for slow weeks. It has just been such a strange week. I just went to go use the AFM and my labmate was using it. He does use it about the same amount as me, so I wasn’t surprised or annoyed. I am now totally resigned to this week (1) not going as planned and (2) to have no resemblance to usual weeks. After going and going so much, it is weird to find myself with these little pockets of free time.
This morning I was downtown (at the University of Chicago) for a meeting. UIC is a school with a lot of science history. It is interesting.
I gave a report to the regional committee of an organization (AVS) that I am vp of the student chapter. I am the mouthpiece. Anyways, it is another beautiful day in chicago. mid 30s, blue sky as far as one can see. The lake is a glittering green. I had the distinct pleasure of driving amongst and admiring the big buildings of downtown against the blue sky. I couldn’t resisting sending ben’s phone a message about the beauty of it all and how we should spend more time downtown. Ben is a big fan of downtown also.
He is also as big fan of the cubs. I didn’t write last week, so I must now mention how excited the boy was that the cubs signed(?) Maddox. I have a feeling that I am going to be a baseball widow (or whatever the term is for a g/f). it is amazing what life takes you to. Though I guess I have to say that Carter broke me in on the baseball obsession.
I ended up getting really lost last night – I went a new way to church and was too late. Instead I got sushi (and had this random experience of sitting at the bar and the waiter trying to make me and the guy next to me “together”.) I also made it to ben’s in time for west wing. I love allison janey (sp?). I also love CJ the character. I tell people all the time that I want to be CJ when I grow up…not the wh press sec, but tall and beautiful.
Ah, thrusday afternoon, my afternoon of class. I have it until 5:30ish. I am in such a strange state. Edgey, but not, antsy, but not. Happy, definitely. I am so content with my life right now. I think that might be it. I have spent much of my recent life looking for something. Now I am no longer looking (for the moment at least). My life appears to not be changing for the foreseeable future. I like it, but it still makes me antsy. My romantic life has always had the possibility of changing my life. Now it has, and I am now settled in my changed life, and don’t want that to change. Anyways, I know I am not being v. eloquent, but I hope you get my gist.
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Posted by christina at 1:36 PM | Comments (0)
February 25, 2004
i'm 22 for a moment / she feels better than ever
Ever have something that you’ve accepted will go badly go extremely well? I did today. It is a really pleasant surprise – especially how weird this day has been.
The power went off last night here at school. It was one when I got in this morning, but it messed all sorts of things up. Our turbopumps (what keeps the vacuum in our chamber) does not automatically come back on. So I couldn’t deposit my usual film because my base pressure was too high. (It has to bake out overnight.) This also happened to be a night that I was running an overnight deposition on my other chamber. After some inquiries, I found out what time the power went off (3:45 am if you are wondering) and so ended up finishing the deposition this afternoon. It is annoying as I wanted to get that chamber changed this morning as I am leaving early (5:45) to make it down to ash Wednesday service tonight. So that has been annoying. I also had carefully, then, based on the fact I was going to have to now change my sample right before I leave, to use to afm as my chamber cooled, but random dude is on it. Rarely does anyone else use the afm. I’m annoyed.
But now I have time to write. And I just want to say that my appointment this afternoon went really well. The NP at our women’s health center is really cool. We had like a 10 min conversation on my journaling habits before we got to my health issues. I had heard that she was against multicycling (ie taking the active pills for three cycles before taking an inactive week. Thereby only having a period every three months), but so I was nervous to ask her about it – even under the guise of a preventive measure (as I think my UTIs are linked to the couple of days right after my period ends). But she is totally cool with it. Though she doesn’t know if it will help my recurrent UTIs, but she agrees it is worth a try. Especially since the next step is to take a dose of antibiotic after every time. (and MUCH better than the doctor downstairs in the health center’s suggestion of just abstaining for those days. Dude, I was honest and admitted that that was impossible.) I realize that this has been just a little TMI, but I wanted to share in case, you know, you might need to know this at some point in the future. I do have to say that both ben and I now know lots about multicycling. It has been nice that ben has been so interested. (in fact, humorously so. He is all worried about the long-term effects on my health, and so I did all this research this morning and e-mailed him all this information saying it was perfectly safe. And so much more convenient. Dude. It means that I’ll only have my period 4 times a year. That rocks my world.)
So yeah – now you know lots more about me….well, at least about my health. ; )
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Posted by christina at 4:44 PM | Comments (0)
February 24, 2004
and she’ll love you more than you can tell
So I have some random time at this moment, so I am going to write. Of course, I actually feel guilty about not using this moment for work. This is what happens when work has filled every moment of your life for a while. Of course, I have not allowed work to completely overtake my life, as I have a great boyfriend that I can’t not spend time with and a body that complains if I don’t run.
I have still more working (or stressing about work) more than usual lately. And when I am at work, I am running about like a mad women. I know that this is worth it – you know. The staying late, the stress, is all worth it as it is short term (well, like 4 more years short term) and I shall reap the benefits for the rest of my life. Well…at least I won’t hate myself cuz I quit. ; )
Anyways, I hate to complain about work.
And here I am 5 hours later, as I got pulled away from finishing writing earlier.
mmmm. life is good. Actually life is great. I had a good meeting with my advisor, which usually makes my life better as in person I feel that he is just trying to help me, opposed to e-mail which makes me feel dumb.
I should by stock in ocean spray as I drink so much cranberry juice. I already have stock in coke, so I am benefiting from my diet coke addiction some.
The weekend was great. Thursday played wingman for marina at p. moon. Ended up chatting with two of the interesting people in my life. Saw In America on Friday. I really recommend it. I didn’t have huge expectations, but I ended up really enjoying it. I then met (after a stop by my lab to start an experiment) my boy and friends out for a drink. Well, I wasn’t drinking as I spent all of last week sick in some way. That night I got 11 hours of straight sleep. It is unheard of, for us both to sleep that much. It was so nice. Saturday was lazy, caught up on tv (ben is the best and tapes all the shows for me – friends, west wing, will and grace). The weather has warmed (yay!) and I enjoyed 3 days of running in above 30 temperatures.(almost 40 on Saturday.)
Saturday night ben cooked me dinner and then we went to leta’s mardi gras party. It was amusing, as it was ben’s first departmental party. I didn’t earn any beads (at least at the party ; )), but did give some away. It was good times with a splash of drama…but really, if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be my life.
Sunday I got all stressed again about work, but instead of going up and working the 4 hours I planned, I stayed curled up with ben as we got sucked in to a law and order marathon. I did work a little on my crack…er fracture, homework. (It was on cracks.) and for the record, my b/f is pretty damn amazing. Then I was up until midnight in true undergrad fashion starting, and getting close to finish a lab report that was due Monday. I’ll just say that I am an excel goddess.
I had a great run this morning – though about 4 blocks shorter than normal, as I needed to get to school by 9. I hope to be out of here before 7 (which will be a first in I can’t remember how long).
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Posted by christina at 3:54 PM | Comments (0)
February 20, 2004
I’m not missing, if you
I’m not missing, if you fear. I am sick and stressed and insanely busy.
Today goal is trying to remember that this job is hard because it is trying to make me a better person. If I survive grad school, I’ll be a better person.
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Posted by christina at 2:39 PM | Comments (0)
February 16, 2004
sunrise sunrise / looks like morning in your eyes
it is soooooo dry here - my body thirsts for moisture.
this weekend was really good, and pass way tooo quickly. friday we went out for nick's birthday. i hadn't seen ben's "crowd" in a while, so it was really nice to catch up with them. i forgot how much i enjoy chatting with his friends. it is strange, but good, to be at that point of moving independently in his social circle. i didn't sit by him at dinner (though my coat did. i was originally sitting by him, but wandered away to chat during ordering, and ended up staying with lindsay and nupie. nupie, a friend o' ben, who is from jupiter, fl, and new of on of my exs that was from there. (there is a 2 yr age difference). random. it is a small world.)
anyways, dinner was good, i drank a little too much red wine (though it was because i hadn't eaten anything, and i had ran that afternoon.) dinner was Italian family style which is great for a group, but our group was like 18, a little too big, but it worked out. ben and i didn't stay long at the bar after as we were house sitting and wanted to be home before his sister went to bed. and we were.
it is strange spending time in a house after being use to our apartments. all the space kinda freaks me out. with apartments, i am aware of all my spaces, but that is impossible with a house. i guess that is why alarms are good.
anyways, saturday we read the paper, laid around. i ran and then went to work for an hour. ben's parents live 8 blocks from school. so i enjoyed the short commute.
it was valentine's day and i must admit that we didn't celebrate it with much fan fair, but we did celebrate as it should be - low key and full of joy. we did exactly what i wanted - got Chinese take out and watched a movie - though the movie was gangs of new york, which was soooo violent, but good. i received the new nora jones cd. i was super excited.
sunday i read (or at least looked through) the entire new york sunday times. it was a perfect morning with lots of tea and the paper spread out on the table. ben sat across from me doing the same thing. it is the perfect way to spend a sunday.
now i am super annoyed at the people using the FIB. dude. at least log into it so i don't walk all the way over there to find you on it.
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Posted by christina at 10:57 AM | Comments (0)
February 12, 2004
sweet southern comfort, carry on.
so, my left hand is weaker than my right, weaker than just not being my dominate hand. not noticeably unless you know...in fact, i doubt ben even knows this fact.
anyways, i've been trying to favor it to make it stronger.
it reminded me of how i had a friend that use to make me use my left hand - especially back in the early days.
i loved that.
my friend use to also wait on me (not like a waiter). he would wait with me as my body got its act together to go forward.
i loved that.
anyways, random late memories.
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Posted by christina at 10:33 PM | Comments (0)
February 11, 2004
in the secret, in the quiet place / in the stillness you are there
it is a quiet day.
my mind (for the first time in a while) is quiet.
my lab is quiet. i have no idea where my labmates have been. (though i never do. one of the very best things about my lab is the quiet. i can always get work done here. lots of labs are really social. that would kill my productivity.)
my day is quiet. a guy has been hogging the FIB all week...it is sooooo annoying, and illegal, but i am a nice person, so i don't say much, except, please let me know if you every get done early. sigh, i do have other stuff to do (ie deposit, so at least i am being productive in other projects). so i have just been quietly working in my quiet lab.
my morning was quiet. ben is sick, so i did everything stealth like this morning so he could sleep as much as possible. i ran, though not well. it was about 20 degrees (wind chill 14), which is not bad running weather at all. but it was my fourth run of the past 5 days - which use to be par for course, but with all the cold and snow of late, i haven't been running much during the week, so, i think my body was just real tired. i ran my 3 miles, but they were fairly painful...though i do see the cutest things in the morning - kids running for the school bus, crossing guards, all sorts of dogs. i ate, showered, got ready for the day, kissed my cute, cute, cute boyfriend who was all curled up in my bed (not that my boyfriend spends the night...) goodbye. it was so hard to not just get back in with him.
work is strangely good. (ie not sucking.) work calm is good, but throws me off a tad. today has crept by as i have not been running around everywhere.
life, as usual, is a tad complex, but it reminds me that complexities are a decision. and i am a tad melodramatic when bored.
i am looking forward to this weekend, which is making to creep by. these rest of it should go fast, as thrusday are busy with class allllllll afternoon and friday i have a visitor (actually from gt) visiting to talk about this joint project we are working on. randomly visiting. no real reason to visit...i guess he is just bored and wants an excuse to visit...hey, i wouldn't mind AT ALL a free to trip to atlanta...they wouldn't even have to pay for hotel, i'd stay with my super friend carter, and stuff. dude. if i wasn't taking classes, i would definitely try to swing that angle.
anways, this weekend ben and i are house/cosmo (the dog) sitting for his parents. his parents are so funny. and there house is soooooo close to school, i can run over and get a little work done with minimal effort.
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Posted by christina at 2:09 PM | Comments (0)
February 9, 2004
you said call me Pandora, call me a fool
there are moments that are so perfect, it feels like one will die..
...like the moments at the end of a great run, when you are walking up to your door feeling amazing, the moments in the shower after when you wash away the salt and sweat...enjoying the feeling of the warm water falling from above.
...surrounded by friends, saturday night, as we celebrated my birthday with margaritas, boats drinks, and games. i am reentering that phase were i much rather hang out with friends and chat than go out and bar hop...mainly that is because it is so damn cold.
...the sun was shining this morning and it was fairly warm (ie 25). and the drive up with the blue sky and the white, choppy lake was beautiful.
...you wake up with your cat curled up beside you, as the morning light streams in the window. and you know you have the whole day to do what you want.
...kneeling in a church, giving thanks for the opportunity to see your 25th year.
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i saw mystic river friday with some friends. great movie. totally recommend it. so see it.
did ps interviews saturday afternoon. meet two great kids. i think that they will both end up going to tech, no matter if they get the scholarship or not. the three interviewers (all girls, btw) were so excited about tech...we are excellent advertisement.
it was an interesting weekend as ben was in vegas, so i lived entirely in my world. i must admit, it was really nice to get up relatively early both saturday and sunday and be productive. but it was also really nice to to lay around with ben when he got home sunday evening. he brought me (as requested) hooker advertisements. dude. they have some big breast out there in hookerville.
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Posted by christina at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)
February 6, 2004
just a little piece of me
Dear God –
Thank you for only sending us 2 inches of snow last night instead of the forecasted 5-8 inches.
Love you,
Christina
Dear Ben –
I hope you are not dead in Vegas.
Love you,
Christina
Dear James –
Do you really believe that we should kill innocent people just because they might commit a crime in the future? I didn’t think so.
Hoping you’ll never think I am going to do anything bad lest you feel the need to kill me,
Christina
Dear People will be driving around the 6400 block of Newgaurd tomorrow morning –
Please do not run me over as I run in the street, the sidewalks are way too slippery.
Thanks so much,
Christina
Dear Mom, Dad, Sistas –
Thanks so much for the flowers. The potted flowering plants are a great idea. They are existing beautifully on my desk. I even got a special watering bottle for them.
Love you,
Christina
Dear Chris,
You are a wonderful person, even though I use to say really mean things about you…not that they weren’t true..but still.
Love you,
Christina
Dear Carter and Sarah –
Yes, I would love to see you over memorial day. In theory it will not snow, but I’m not the one with that kind of control. I can promise you, though, a beautiful apartment to stay in, a beautiful city to visit, and a great cat to adore. (stop calling her fat people! Only I can call her fat!) due to the fact we are talking about june (and hence 5 months from now), I cannot make any promises about this boy…that is longer away than we’ve currently been dating.
Can’t wait to see you,
Christina
Dear Mark –
Thank you for the song. Sorry I am being a slacker about writing you back.
Content knowing you’re palling around europe,
Christina
Dear ….
I must go to my movie now, so I must stop.
Lots of love,
Christina
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Posted by christina at 6:11 PM | Comments (0)
February 5, 2004
so i should be studing
so i should be studing for my midterm in 1.5 hrs, but i'm not. instead, i'm taking random tests. this one amused me - you should take it.
my results -
The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)
Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?
Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.
Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.
You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.
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Posted by christina at 12:34 PM | Comments (0)
February 3, 2004
i won't turn down from a fight / you know I'll never win
Snow and Things
- wet hair freezes...instantaously
- brush the snow off your car immediately, just clearning the windsheilds makes for future snow removal to involve ice
- snow boots save your shoes, your pants, your ass
- after a week of single digit weather, followed by a week of subzero degree weather, 20 degrees feels damn good
- it is possible, contary to previous belief, to run in 14 degree weather. the above 20 running rule has now been ammending to one can run if the wind chill is above (or close to) zero.
- icey sidewalks force one to run in the street. run on one way streets, look behind you often when running with the traffic
- put socks on your dog
- snow is not bad to drive on. go slow. and make sure you can see out of your window.
- everyone's car is overed with white grime. (ie salt) go with it.
- snow means warmth, clear blue skies means bone chilling cold.
- moving one's couch from in front of the heater vent does make one's apartment much, much warm...with the added bonus of pretending that the pilot light is a small fireplace....now where is that bear skin rug.
- don't engage a scientist on a debate, for they are skilled at literature searches...especially if it is women scientist and you are debating unequal pay and women's rights
- a cute boy provides much warmth on snowy (or not so snowy) cold winter nights....even though he keeps playing the devils advocate in a fight he'll never win.
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Posted by christina at 1:42 PM | Comments (0)