Yes, it's been a while. Life seems to get in the way of writing (or thinking) about life. Well, that's a little abstract. I'm a lazy dude. Check that. I'm an extremely lazy dude. I like to watch TV. TV is not conducive to creating or maintaining independent, novel thought. Also, I like football. Football is fun to watch. It takes up my entire Sunday though. So, see, I'm not good at setting aside time for things like typing. And, thus, I return with a whimper only to disappear again soon, if not tomorrow. But in the interim, let's chat.

The wedding was fun. Very fun. Our family and our friends know how to have fun. Pictures are up on the photographer's web site: www.furlastudio.com. There are a lot of them. Seriously. A lot.

So, there's this dog. And he's ours. It's awesome. Except in the middle of the night. And in the morning. And when she won't stop biting my pants. But the other times, it's awesome. Her ears are bigger than her face. She has literally stopped traffic. Cars have pulled over to ask what breed she is. If you're wondering, she is a Boston Terrier. She is a cute one. All puppies are cute. She's the ugly kind of cute, which is awesome. Having a dog is everything I hoped it would be, except for the annoying shit. But that stuff should abate as her bladder (and the rest of her) gets bigger. Hopefully her ears will stay about the same. Otherwise we will have to rename her Dumbo. And not as an exaggeration.

Having just watched the Bears game, I must say this: The Bears are awesome. They are hands down the best team in the league right now. Here's hoping they can keep it up. At least one of the teams I root for has a shot at greatness. The Bulls might. The Cubs don't. Lou Piniella is the opposite of a savior. Kudos to them though, as they find new ways to lose rather than sticking with time-honored, clinically-proven losing strategies.

And I leave you with pictures.

She'll learn better than to do this to Cubs paraphernalia.

Her as she is. On a good day.

Just a dog.

Yes, it's been a while. Life seems to get in the way of writing (or thinking) about life. Well, that's a little abstract. I'm a lazy dude. Check that. I'm an extremely lazy dude. I like to watch TV. TV is not conducive to creating or maintaining independent, novel thought. Also, I like football. Football is fun to watch. It takes up my entire Sunday though. So, see, I'm not good at setting aside time for things like typing. And, thus, I return with a whimper only to disappear again soon, if not tomorrow. But in the interim, let's chat.

The wedding was fun. Very fun. Our family and our friends know how to have fun. Pictures are up on the photographer's web site: www.furlastudio.com. There are a lot of them. Seriously. A lot.

So, there's this dog. And he's ours. It's awesome. Except in the middle of the night. And in the morning. And when she won't stop biting my pants. But the other times, it's awesome. Her ears are bigger than her face. She has literally stopped traffic. Cars have pulled over to ask what breed she is. If you're wondering, she is a Boston Terrier. She is a cute one. All puppies are cute. She's the ugly kind of cute, which is awesome. Having a dog is everything I hoped it would be, except for the annoying shit. But that stuff should abate as her bladder (and the rest of her) gets bigger. Hopefully her ears will stay about the same. Otherwise we will have to rename her Dumbo. And not as an exaggeration.

Having just watched the Bears game, I must say this: The Bears are awesome. They are hands down the best team in the league right now. Here's hoping they can keep it up. At least one of the teams I root for has a shot at greatness. The Bulls might. The Cubs don't. Lou Piniella is the opposite of a savior. Kudos to them though, as they find new ways to lose rather than sticking with time-honored, clinically-proven losing strategies.

And I leave you with pictures.

I'm on the lookout for new music. I've been listening to the new Thom Yorke album, which is called Eraser. It has reminded me how much I like Radiohead. Listening to Eraser is essentially like listening to Radiohead without any of the live instrumentation. So, I suppose you could say it sounds similar to Amnesiac, though it isn't nearly that dark. Last weekend, I heard about a band that supposedly sounds similar to Radiohead This group branches off developmentally from Radiohead following The Bends. So it's like the alternative version of Radiohead. Supposedly. I haven't mentioned the name of the group cause I can't for the life of me remember it. Ferrario knows it. Dude, what was that band called again?

In terms new music, by which I mean music with which I am not yet familiar but I'm sure many other people are, I really enjoyed listening to the latest album by Stars called Set Yourself on Fire. Quite excellent. I'm also interested in hearing more by Mike Doughty. His sound seems unique, at least from the one song of his that I've heard, which is a single called "Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well" off an album called Haughty Melodic. Haughty, according to Merriam Webster, is another word for disdainfully proud. Seems similar to today's Google Word of the Day: Supercilious, which means disdainfully arrogant. All my life's a circle...

So here are the things I've been concentrating on not writing about.

Life updates, for all aforementioned reasons.

It's been a month since I wrote anything. Like anyone's surprised.

It's 8:30 on Friday night and this, whatever it is, is the only meaningful thing I'll do all night. And no, I'm not feeling overly self-important with the addition of meaningful to that sentence. It's just a sliding scale, that's all. In other words, writing is more meaningful than TV-watching. Agreed?

I spent 45 minutes trying to figure out what to have for dinner, then ended up eating a tuna sandwich.

The Cubs are so terrible that it makes me want to dig my left eye out of the socket with a spoon. Still, I went to two games at Wrigley this week.

Radiohead is really good. Too self-evident.

"Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters." -- Margaret Halsey

Now, that being said, as I gain experience, I will become better at what I do. I like to think that I was hired because I'm pretty decent at what I do. I'll never really know though due to society's fixation on blowing smoke up asses, whether it be employer-to-employee or vice versa. That bugs me. I never hear criticisms. I ask people for criticisms. It's a good way to figure out how to get better. It seems now that thin skins and maintaining a false sense of high morale assure us that mediocrity is destined to prevail.

OK, so I know that I listed the Cubs in the Topics to Avoid List, but once I used to word mediocrity, I couldn't stop thinking about the Loveable Losers. Remember when people thought that the Loveable Losers alias was on its way out? That was funny. Interestingly the Cubs' payroll before the trading deadline, at which they are bound to unload at least one or two guys, is the highest in the NL Central and seventh-highest in the majors. Who says you can buy wins?

I've never been to Pittsburgh before. It has a lot of hills. Quite pretty. We went to PNC Park and saw the Pirates take on the White Sox. Fun game. Very cool park. The design of the park is quite modern in appearance. However, the field itself is not. None of those crazy features that you'd find in places like Houston. We had great seats -- right behind home plate. And Jim Thome hit the longest home run I've ever witnessed. Two bounces and it splashed into the Alleghany River.

Going to a non-Cubs game made me realize how truly terrible the Cubs' offense is this year. Yes, I know they haven't had all their weapons in the lineup at the same time since April, but still. They're terrible. They get guys on second and third with nobody out and can't manage to push one run across. That's just terrible. And I don't even want to talk about their pitching. There is no excuse -- none -- for paying $100 million dollars to a team with a .375 win percentage. Man, I sure hope they make it back up to .375.

I realized how awful my Cubs have been this year by watching two teams that play better than them -- and one of them was the lowly Pirates. I tell you this -- not one ground ball went in between two statuesque infielders, as happened in a Cubs game a few days ago. There is no excuse for that sort of nonsense.

In other news, I have no other news. Summer is a crazy time that goes by much faster than any other time of the year. I'm teaching summer school, which is excellent. It's a pretty straightforward assignment. I get paid, but I only work til 11:30 every day. Who could turn that down?

A few months ago, I planted sod. Perhaps I mentioned this. If I did, I don't care. I'll say it again. I planted sod. Not a lot of sod. And not by myself. But it worked. And it's growing. We have a thin strip of land between the street and the sidewalk in front of the building. Until a few weeks ago, it consisted of a collection of dead plants, rocks, and more dead plants. Another guy in the building and I spent one weekend pulling all the dead stuff up. The following weekend, we tilled the soil and laid the sod. Tilling soil is excellent. I rented a gas-powered tiller from Home Depot for the project. Just pull the cord, and till baby till. The only part better than the tilling would have to be the immediacy with which the results of this work can be seen. On the day we finished, it looked like we had the nicest, greenest lawn I'd ever seen. And I must say it's survived pretty darn well. Feelings of accomplishment are hard to come by. I take what I can get.

Before I indulge myself in an embarrassingly detailed assessment of the 2006 Cubs and a terribly off-base prediction of this season's final standings, I have to offer my respect and appreciation to those who designed to bleacher expansion at Wrigley Field. Yesterday, during my first game of the year, I got to see from the inside the 1800 new seats that have been added. They look like they were always there. The "Batter's Eye Box" (a private party box in center field) is basely noticeable. Honestly, they added seats without changing a bit of the look or ambiance. Very impressive. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and ignore the fact that they're now called The Bud Light Bleachers, since no such sign is present when viewing the new seats. Now then...

The 2006 Cubs are very different from the teams of years past, including the 2003 division champs. Let's start at the beginning. Juan Pierre is a solid leadoff man. He gets on base with hits and walks. He pounds the ball into the ground. And this dude is fast. Once he's on base, everyone's uneasy, especially the opposing pitcher, which means that Todd Walker, Derrek Lee, and Aramis Ramirez will get more pitches to hit. Frankly, the lineup looks great both offensively and defensively. Jacques Jones will be a weak link and should end up hitting seventh before the end of the year. He's quick and he has a good glove and arm, but hitting for average is not his strong suit. Overall, the offense is fast and active, which should produce runs fairly regularly. The defense isn't stellar, but it'll make all the plays it's supposed to make and a few extra.

The pitching is the problem. Wood and Prior are on the DL. Again. Maddux and Zambrano are the rocks of the rotation. A great one-two. Glendon Rusch is the number 3 starter. He is, at best, a number 5. He'll give up 4-5 runs a game on average. He should be the long reliever, if Dusty insists that he is on the team. Jerome Williams can't find his release point, so he'll be in the 'pen for at least a month, unless he's needed in the rotation. The X factor is a guy named Sean Marshall, who will be the 4 starter to start the season. He's never pitched above Double-A. He's a 6-foot 7-inch lefty with a good fastball and a Zito-like curve. He's making his debut tonight in ESPN's game of the week against the Cardinals. If he has a decent game tonight, he can handle any game in the pros. So, we'll see. The other big variable is Wade Miller, who was signed over the winter but is still recovering from a shoulder surgery similar to that underwent by Wood. Miller's a little behind Wood in terms of recovery, but look for him to make a spot start now and then starting in the end of May. The bullpen is much improved, with Bob Howry and Scott Eyre setting up Dempster this year. That lets Wuertz, Williamson, and Ohman pitch the 5th through 7th innings instead of the 7th and 8th. It's all about the starting pitching. If they have a collective ERA below 5.00, the Cubs should win some games.

Now, everyone else. Here's how I see the divisions shaping up, based mostly on what I saw in players and teams last year, what I've seen in the spring, and what I've read in the papers. (By "the papers" I mean the internet and Sports Illustrated)

AL East
1. New York
2. Boston
3. Toronto
4. Tampa Bay
5. Baltimore

AL Central
1. Cleveland
2. Chicago
3. Detroit
4. Minnesota
5. Kansas City

AL West
1. Oakland
2. Anaheim
3. Seattle
4. Texas

NL East
1. Philadelphia
2. Atlanta
3. New York
4. Washington
5. Florida

NL Central
1. St. Louis
2. Milwaukee
3. Houston
4. Chicago
5. Pittsburgh
6. Cincinnati

NL West
1. Los Angeles
2. San Diego
3. San Francisco
4. Arizona
5. Colorado

We'll do a progress check in a few months.

fustian. meaning: pompous or pretentious language. I love the irony of words about words. Especially ones like this.

hobbledehoy. meaning: an awkward, gawky young fellow. I teach a bunch of hobbledehoys. I am a hobbledehoy. Try saying it. Just rolls of the tongue, doesn't it? Hobbledehoy. Not bad to type either.

I'm going to my first Cubs game of the year, after which I will be able to provide a thorough scouting report in addition to some well-informed but ultimately incorrect predictions about how this baseball season will end up. Stay tuned.

Spring break is definitely over. The one day in recent memory that I haven't been able to fall asleep until after 1AM was the night before I had to go back to work. Then I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't for the life of me get back to sleep. Figures. Spring break is like a little teaser. It's like the world is saying to me: See what your life will be like in two months? Yeah, it's not yet. You still have responsibilities. GET OUT OF BED!

The new Baseball Season is about to start. Excitement fills the air. At least the air surrounding me is filled with excitement. I know the Cubs will be terrible, but I just like baseball. Man, the Cubs will definitely be terrible. Don't tell me my pessimism means I'm not a fan. It just means they've hurt me too many times to rationalize prolonging my unfounded optimism. More on that later.

Did anyone else see the Simpsons live-action opening last week? It was like the old-school Simpsons opening, only the entire thing was done with real actors. A bit surreal...

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/29/walmat.spring.break.ap/index.html

Honestly, I just don't know what I would write regarding what I do every day. I go to work. I come home. I care for the cat (who is definitely losing at least a little weight). I eat like it's going out of style. I do crossword puzzles. I play video games. I eat dinner. I watch TV. I go to bed. Doesn't that sound exciting? This is why I don't write much about it. Not to mention the fact that I am bound legally by confidentiality and morally by ethics from detailing anything regarding my students. Isn't that weird? I know something you don't know (sung repeatedly using an overly superior intonation).

Just to balance that out, here's a story that makes me feel like just about the stupidest person on the planet:

I ran out of pants. For work, that is. I can't wear jeans. Corduroys are permissible. Khakis or dress pants are preferred. I've been wearing the same three pair of khakis (all of which, ironically, are not khaki-colored) for about three years. Clothes shopping is not my favorite of endeavors -- it is performed semi-annually. Well, I ran out of pants. For about two weeks, I survived on the last pair standing, but they eventually succumb to old age and burst a gigantic hole directly in the crotch. Let's put it this way -- if I needed to make number 1, opening the fly of the pants would not have been a necessity.

A few weeks ago, it was absolutely beautiful outside. And I was out of pants. So we went to the Gap to do the semi-annual clothes shop with the windows down in my car. It was so great outside. Only they didn't have any pants that fit me. My, uh, slim physique requires that I steer clear of the so-called "relaxed fit" pants, as they make me look like a clown. But they didn't have any non-relaxed fit pants. I guess baggy is in. Again. Who knew. So I got some shirts and we left to do the weekly grocery shop, windows still down. When we got home, I was backing in to the garage, as I have done, oh, I'd say about 250 times in the past year. So I wasn't really paying much attention. As I backed up, I started to hear the most excruciating sound. My head quickly pivoted only to see that my driver's side mirror was caught on the side of the garage. I'd gone back so far that it had bent to the point that it was about parallel with the car. Man, now that was stupid. It cost about $400 to fix. Stupid.

Date of Last Entry: 11.17.2005. Coming on three months ago.

Where did it go? Archived. Automatically. Too old to be allowed to stay on the main screen. According to Mr. Moveable Type Platform.

Yes. I'm That Guy. My reasons for this statement are great in number.

I'm That Guy who feels like he should apologize to his non-existent readers for neglecting to write as much as an "I'm alive" message on this personal notepad. Why apologize? What a silly thing. Just write more. That being said, I'm sorry.

I'm That Guy who feels that he should reassure these same phantom readers that I won't allow such an egregious error to occur again so long as I'm running the show. But why? I certainly didn't intentionally not post my nonsensical, whimsical nonsense. I highly doubt that anyone took any personal offense to my online laziness. Nevertheless, I will do my best not to go missing, at least not for so long.

I'm That Guy who thinks he has the best possible reason for an unexplained three-month absence. Th:e unsettledness and overall hecticity (hek-TIS-itee) of starting a new job has knocked me to the floor. My days are spent -- gasp -- working. And my evenings are spent doing as little as possible. Thankfully, I have a pretty good No Work Comes Home policy paired with a surprising efficient working style when I'm actually there.

I'm That Guy whose personal physiological body clock is in direct conflict with the schedule required by his work. Along with this new set of responsibilities has come what I always knew would happen -- I am required to be up and about prior to the sun's morning wake-up call. Every week, it gets a little easier. The problem is I started so far behind in this endeavor that I'm only now, after about four weeks, reaching the point where I don't feel too physically ill when my alarm goes off at 6:10. I'm still really quite groggy all the way too work. Speaking of which...

I'm That Guy who commutes to work with a mug full of coffee. I do what's called the "reverse commute." It's called this because rather than driving from the suburbs into the city, I drive from the city to the suburbs. For reasons passing understanding, the reverse commute is significantly slower than the "regular" commute. Conceptually, I feel a bit like a salmon swimming upstream. But in reality, like twice as many people do the reverse commute than do the regular one. Seems to me that whichever commute more people do should be the "regular" one.

I'm That Guy staring at you in gridlock on the Outbound Edens. This is really a combination of That Guy illustrations numbers 4 and 5. I feel kind of badly about it. I finally get on the highway about thirty minutes after I start the drive, but I'm still not awake yet. About 3 out of 5 days, there's at least one patch of totally stopped traffic. During this time, my half-asleep brain decides to check out the scenery. Only this generally means looking to my right (I ride the left lane) at the people in neighboring cars. I haven't really gotten too many dirty looks yet. Once someone looks at me, I become aware of my actions and snap back to the road. Oh well. The sleeping half of my brain is much bigger than the roused half at that time of the morning.

I'm not going to be That Guy who makes a minimally-informed Super Bowl prediction. Who really cares about this game aside from Seattle-ites (is that what they're called?) and Pittsburgh-ettes (I know that's not what they're called).

But I'm still That Guy. Will I watch the game? Absolutely. Why? I have no idea. Cause it's the Super Bowl. Cause when it's on, that's what you watch. You know, the Super Bowl draws the most television viewers of any single televised event every year. And, honestly, no one ever cares about it. Maybe it's the commercials.

I'm That Guy who will watch and DVR (or TiVo, if you speak satellite TV) the game. This might be the stupidest thing I do all year. Watch and tape a game simultaneously. I offer no rationale. Except this. I can. So I do.

Well, that's enough for now. That Guy needs to go take care of some nothingness.

Toodles.

I must digress momentarily for a small explanation. Since I am working at a high school and going to Northwestern for clients and seminars, I have two schools. Therefore, I refer to the student teaching school as "work" and Northwestern as "school."

So, after I parked at work yesterday, I started the three-block walk to the building. The wind was in my face for the entire walk. Note: during that time, I was walking southeast, then directly east, and the wind hit me in the face the whole time. About 4 hours later, I was leaving work to go back to my car, and the wind was in my face. At this point, I was walking west, then northwest. I got in my car and drove to school. That drive took about ten minutes. After I parked, I walked to the building, which is directly south of the parking lot. And guess what? The wind was right in my damn face the whole way. A few hours later, I left the building to go to the gym, which is directly north of the building I was in. Getting the idea? The wind was in my face for that walk, too. I'm sorry, but that just doesn't make sense. Wind is supposed to come from one, maybe two directions. If it's swirling, you gotta figure that it'd be behind me at least once over the course of the day.

Oh, by the way, the wind was blowing at about 30-40 miles an hour. And the wind chill was something like 15-20 degrees. That just hurts.

So, then, in an absurdly tangential turn, I started thinking about what it means to be wise. Do wise people come up with better solutions or ask better questions? Socrates was certainly a great thinker, but he was definitely known as a great questioner. Maybe Smart people help others solve complex, difficult problems and make involved plans; and maybe Wise people make others think more. What I eventually came up with is that 8 AM is too early in the morning to possibly think about such things.

Anyways, the homeless shelter is moving to a new and better facility that is relatively close to the old, historic one. So it's really not even an issue for this shelter. Everybody gets better facilities and more space. In other words, all those questions I was thinking about are entirely irrelevant to the topic by which they were brought to my attention.

Before one of my classes at work (work=student teaching), I ran to the faculty bathroom. While I was standing at the urinal, you know, doing my business, another teacher I'd never seen walked in and up to the position next to me. He looked at me and said, "This bathroom is for faculty and staff only." I looked at him and said, "Yup." Then I washed my hands and left. I wish he would've asked for my ID. That's how they get people in trouble at this school -- they take their IDs and write down their info to submit to the appropriate disciplinarian. I really wish he'd asked for it. I could've shown him my driver's license, which shows that I am 24. Or I could've shown him my Northwestern ID, which, though it doesn't show that I am a grad student, certainly proves that I graduated high school. Almost seven years ago actually. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Random Teacher Guy. Ah, the perils of the young teacher. Still, I like to think I don't look entirely like a high school student.

So I'll say it again. I love fish. Just not fishy fish. Or fish that actually tastes like fish. Like salmon. Salmon, I feel, is gross. As are the so-called "steak-like" fish. So, what I really mean is that Christina makes this totally amazing fish with some sort of cheesy stuff on it. And it's amazing. I'd imagine that if heaven were edible, it would taste like this fish. What does all this have to do with anything? Well, it doesn't. My goal is to make everyone feel dumber for having read this. Is it working?

When I was really young, I used to watch Sportscenter every morning before school. Well, maybe I'd watch 10 minutes of it. But it was always the last 10 minutes. And the last thing they do on Sportscenter is the "Did You Know?" segment. I loved it. Nothing fills your brain with useless, trivial information like the "Did You Know?" segment. So, to stick with my previously-mentioned purpose, I would like to share such a random tidbit. A piece of trivia, if you will. This may be useful to those of you who consider Trivial Pursuit to be a sport.

Did You Know: When using quotation marks at the end of a sentence, the period, comma, question mark, or whatever else always goes before the end quotation mark. The reason for this is quite simple. In the days of typewriters, the quotation mark was not a substantial enough mark around which to build a strong hammer. The hammer is the piece that makes the mark. So, in order to make the hammer strong enough, the period and quotation mark were placed on the same hammer. On that hammer, the period came first.

Don't you wish we had better reasons for rules like these?

And now, I must respond to unfounded accusations that I am closet White Sox fan. To be blunt, I am not. Am I a Sox fan? Yes. I have been for a long time. When they play the Cubs, who do I root for? The Cubbies. Always. Being a Cubs fan and being a Sox fan are not mutually exclusive sorts of things. Picking a side is certainly important, but there's no reason to harbor ill will towards one unless they're in a head-to-head situation. In the past, rooting for the Sox has been just as painful as rooting for the Cubs. Not this year though. The Sox played my favorite kind of baseball -- that which is focused on defense, pitching, and winning as a team. That's why I rooted for them all year. Except those six games when they played the Cubs.