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February 4, 2006

that guy

That's me.

Date of Last Entry: 11.17.2005. Coming on three months ago.

Where did it go? Archived. Automatically. Too old to be allowed to stay on the main screen. According to Mr. Moveable Type Platform.

Yes. I'm That Guy. My reasons for this statement are great in number.

I'm That Guy who feels like he should apologize to his non-existent readers for neglecting to write as much as an "I'm alive" message on this personal notepad. Why apologize? What a silly thing. Just write more. That being said, I'm sorry.

I'm That Guy who feels that he should reassure these same phantom readers that I won't allow such an egregious error to occur again so long as I'm running the show. But why? I certainly didn't intentionally not post my nonsensical, whimsical nonsense. I highly doubt that anyone took any personal offense to my online laziness. Nevertheless, I will do my best not to go missing, at least not for so long.

I'm That Guy who thinks he has the best possible reason for an unexplained three-month absence. Th:e unsettledness and overall hecticity (hek-TIS-itee) of starting a new job has knocked me to the floor. My days are spent -- gasp -- working. And my evenings are spent doing as little as possible. Thankfully, I have a pretty good No Work Comes Home policy paired with a surprising efficient working style when I'm actually there.

I'm That Guy whose personal physiological body clock is in direct conflict with the schedule required by his work. Along with this new set of responsibilities has come what I always knew would happen -- I am required to be up and about prior to the sun's morning wake-up call. Every week, it gets a little easier. The problem is I started so far behind in this endeavor that I'm only now, after about four weeks, reaching the point where I don't feel too physically ill when my alarm goes off at 6:10. I'm still really quite groggy all the way too work. Speaking of which...

I'm That Guy who commutes to work with a mug full of coffee. I do what's called the "reverse commute." It's called this because rather than driving from the suburbs into the city, I drive from the city to the suburbs. For reasons passing understanding, the reverse commute is significantly slower than the "regular" commute. Conceptually, I feel a bit like a salmon swimming upstream. But in reality, like twice as many people do the reverse commute than do the regular one. Seems to me that whichever commute more people do should be the "regular" one.

I'm That Guy staring at you in gridlock on the Outbound Edens. This is really a combination of That Guy illustrations numbers 4 and 5. I feel kind of badly about it. I finally get on the highway about thirty minutes after I start the drive, but I'm still not awake yet. About 3 out of 5 days, there's at least one patch of totally stopped traffic. During this time, my half-asleep brain decides to check out the scenery. Only this generally means looking to my right (I ride the left lane) at the people in neighboring cars. I haven't really gotten too many dirty looks yet. Once someone looks at me, I become aware of my actions and snap back to the road. Oh well. The sleeping half of my brain is much bigger than the roused half at that time of the morning.

I'm not going to be That Guy who makes a minimally-informed Super Bowl prediction. Who really cares about this game aside from Seattle-ites (is that what they're called?) and Pittsburgh-ettes (I know that's not what they're called).

But I'm still That Guy. Will I watch the game? Absolutely. Why? I have no idea. Cause it's the Super Bowl. Cause when it's on, that's what you watch. You know, the Super Bowl draws the most television viewers of any single televised event every year. And, honestly, no one ever cares about it. Maybe it's the commercials.

I'm That Guy who will watch and DVR (or TiVo, if you speak satellite TV) the game. This might be the stupidest thing I do all year. Watch and tape a game simultaneously. I offer no rationale. Except this. I can. So I do.

Well, that's enough for now. That Guy needs to go take care of some nothingness.

Toodles.

Posted by ben at 11:00 AM | Comments (5)